Chapter Text
Firefighter Mikkens from C shift was getting married and had invited the whole house. Bobby and the B shift captain had conspired to get all of C shift off for the whole weekend and had flipped a coin to see which squad was going to cover during the wedding itself. A shift had won, therefore Buck and Eddie were currently leaning against a wall crying with laughter over the antics of the drunken groomsmen attempting to do a choreographed boy band routine. Mikkens herself was so hysterical that she was slumped sideways into her new husband as he hid his face in his hands. It seems that the groom had secretly been a founding member of the groups fan club back in the day, something he’d neglected to mention to the bride until it had come up in the best man’s speech.
“Oh, shit, fuck,” Buck said, as he realized he’d caught his dress shirt on a loose nail and torn it. “I was gonna wear this to the next one.” He twisted to get a better look and Eddie very helpfully stuck his finger in the hold and made it worse. Both men had long ago passed tipsy and were firmly into drunk territory.
“It barely fit anyway, just buy a new one.”
“This is the new one!”
Eddie snorted. “Then you bought the wrong size. Look at it, the seams are barely holding up over your arms,” he teased.
Buck rolled his eyes. “It’s not my fault clothes just aren’t made for a body this awesome.” He flexed and struck a pose, only to hear a seam pop somewhere.
Both of them dissolved into laughter again as a passing elderly guest heard the comment and shot Buck a disappointed look.
A few hours later, the two of them shared an Uber back to Eddie’s house. They’d purposefully not driven, planning to get drunk enough to forget that they were both showing up sans the plus 1’s they’d RSVP'd with. It was a little embarrassing, being the single guys yet again, when now all of their friends and family were coupled up. Thank god that Mikkens had seated them with their A shift family instead of one of those nightmare singles tables. They were able to spend the whole evening hanging out like it was any other dinner party with their fire family, paired up together like they usually were on those nights anyway. Their singleness was only really felt during the couples' dances and when some of their less frequently seen friends asked where Natalia was tonight or if Marisol was at home with Chris.
Once they’d stumbled into Eddie’s darkened living room, Buck stripped off his ruined shirt and binned it while Eddie disappeared into his bedroom. He emerged looking much more comfortable in sweats and a faded old tee, tossing a second set of clothing to Buck. By the time he came back out of the bathroom, Eddie had gotten both of them some water and flipped on the tv to a Bones re-run.
“It wasn’t so bad after all, yeah?”
They spent enough time in each other’s pockets that Eddie knew what Buck meant as he dropped into his own regular seat on the couch. “Nah, it was good. Worried for nothing.”
“Glad you were there alone, too.” Buck took a drink of his water, then seemed to realize what he had said. “I-I mean, n-not that I’m like glad about how Marisol didn’t work out, I didn’t mean it like that! I just meant that I’m glad I wasn’t the only guy there alone and that I had you to be alone there with.”
Eddie smiled at him softly. “I know, Buck. I knew what you meant.”
“Good, because I didn’t like have anything against her or anything, like as a person. I really didn’t even know her.” That was true. Eddie had only brought her to one family dinner at Bobby and Athena’s and she’d only stopped by the station once. Buck had seen her in passing a couple times when he hung out with Chris while Eddie had taken her out, and that time when they had to rescue her brother and came back to fix her ceiling, but he’d never had a single conversation with her beyond ‘How’s your brother?’ or ‘This salsa is delicious, can I have your recipe?’
They sat in silence for a few minutes as Angela rendered a digital portrait of the episode's victim, and they were distracted by how familiar he looked though neither could place why.
“It’s too bad I’ll be by myself at Tasha and Priya’s wedding,” Buck said eventually.
Eddie blinked rapidly. He had very nearly fallen asleep. “Who are Tasha and Priya?”
“Remember that community garden I was taking Chris to summer before last?” At Eddie’s nod, Buck continued. “They’re two of the founders. I’ve still been going even after he gave it up, we all got pretty friendly. Their wedding is in two weeks and I don’t know anyone who’ll be there outside of the other volunteers.”
Eddie hummed his agreement. “I’ve got Vince’s from dispatch the weekend after that. Josh and Linda and Sue will be there, but they’ll all know everyone else too. I should ask Chim if he and Maddie are going. Maybe I can third wheel with them.”
“Chim won’t know, I’ll text Maddie tomorrow.”
They watched a few more minutes and realized that another episode had started without their noticing, and this one was about a wedding. “Can’t escape wedding season,” Buck laughed. “I guess I should start getting used to it. I have like four more weddings to go to in the next six months and I already RSVP'd for 2, so they’ll all be awkward.”
“I have you beat, I have five. One of them is probably the same one though, Michael and David. So at least we can hang out and be sad singles together there.” Eddie tipped his head back to drain the last of his water bottle.
“We should just go to all of them together. Make it more fun.” Eddie laughed, but Buck sat up and looked at him way too energetically for this late at night. “No, really! We should! I already marked down that I was coming with a plus one, and I already made hotel reservations for the out-of-town ones. You wouldn't have to pay for any of that stuff, you’d get some free drinks and meals, and hey! One of them we could even take Chris and make a weekend of it!”
“Buck…” Eddie was hesitant. It would be more fun to know that he’d at least have his best friend to hang out with at these receptions, and he had actually RSVP'd with a plus one (or two, because he was taking Chris to three of them), but this seemed like a lot for Buck to commit to, a bunch of his family’s events that were certain to be super boring. At his careful tone though, the light in Buck’s eyes dimmed and his shoulders dropped a bit. Eddie felt a sharp stab of guilt and the overwhelming urge to fix it. Before he could even process anything further, he heard himself agreeing. “Okay, let’s do it.”
***
Three weekends later, they were walking through a vineyard following a lovely outdoor ceremony. The two brides couldn’t have chosen a better day with clear blue skies and a light breeze. It was the cocktail hour and Buck was introducing him as ‘Chris’s dad, Eddie’ to the other garden volunteers. It was low-key and nice, but yeah, Buck pretty quickly ran out of things to say about the community garden and spent most of the reception just talking together. Several of the guests were curious about some firefighting stories though, and the two of them were able to throw some stories back and forth until dinner. Dinner turned out to be an organic vegan meal, full of things that Eddie absolutely did not recognize but Buck was happy to tell him all about. It was good, but he did make Buck stop for a cheeseburger on the way home.
The weekend after that was completely different, a traditional church wedding with the reception in a rented hall. Maddie and Chim were indeed there as well, and the open seating plan let them sit together at a table with Linda and her husband, and Josh and Carson. They all had a fantastic time, eating and drinking all night. There was karaoke and dancing and literally every cheesy thing. Buck and Eddie did not join in the singing but let themselves be dragged into the photo booth and were only mildly embarrassed when Maddie and Josh started tagging them in things on Instagram.
The next wedding after that wasn’t until the following month, which was good because they needed time to have Eddie’s schedule rearranged to have the whole week off without using his vacation days. Buck had become good friends with the son of the rancher he’d spent two summers working for in Montana, and he was getting married at the ranch. They’d kept in touch on social media and Buck also knew the girl he was marrying. She’d been a cashier at the feed store during those years and one of the chores that Buck regularly did was the runs to town. He liked the long drives through the wide-open landscapes and it left the more experienced hands to deal with the needs of the cattle.
Buck was friendly and talked to anyone who so much as glanced his way, so it wasn’t surprising that he quickly reached first-name familiarity with every worker at all their regular stops, but it was surprising to him when a few of them seemed like they wanted to strike up an actual friendship beyond the surface level small talk or flirtations that he was used to. The second summer, when he came back after having spent the winter in the south, Megan had called out to him and pulled him into a hug the first time he’d walked back into the feed store with Jack. He didn’t exactly set them up, but Buck did like to take credit for inviting Megan to their next bonfire night where she and Jack started talking. By the next bonfire, they were dating, and when Buck left Montana that October, Jack and Megan were pretty much inseparable.
They’d all kept in touch via social media and every so often, they’d tell Buck that he needed to come back for a visit. Buck would always enthusiastically agree, but there was always something that stood in the way. First, he’d tried the SEALs, then gone to Peru. Then it was the Academy and his probie year, then Maddie came to LA, and then the truck bombing, and the clots, the tsunami, COVID… Just one thing after another. But then they posted all about their engagement on Insta and when Megan sent him a message to get his address for the invitation, she made him promise that there would be no more excuses, he had better show up or else she’d send Jack to lasso and drag him back. So Buck had RSVP'd for 2, and now that he’d made this plan with Eddie, he messaged her to make sure it was okay to bring Chris.
Megan was very excited, and promised Buck that she’d rearrange accommodations to set him and his guests up in the bedroom addition at her and Jack’s own house instead of the bunkhouses they were putting some of the other out-of-town guests in. Besides the large main residence where Jack’s father and younger brother lived with his father’s wife and two long-time employees, Rocking R Ranch had two permanent bunkhouses, and two other homes that were incorporated into the ranch as past generations had purchases adjoining lands to expand upon. Jack’s older brother lived in the larger, further away house with his own family while Jack and Megan had moved into the smaller of these two houses and had added on two bedrooms since Buck had last seen it.
The original house had three rooms and an outhouse, but at some point someone converted the second smaller bedroom to a bathroom and walk-in closet, and added a small front porch. Then later, Jack’s father had added a large screened in porch to the side of the house for the ranch manager and his wife, who were about to have a baby and needed a little more space, but they’d moved on before Buck’s time and it was vacant. Then Jack and Megan had moved in, renovated the bathroom and kitchen, and added two bedrooms and another bathroom on the opposite side of the porch, separate from the main structure but still attached. You had to actually walk through the porch to get from one to the other. Not ideal for children, but good for the summer ranch hands or visiting relatives. It was an interesting set-up that Buck was looking forward to seeing in person instead of just photos.
The person most excited about the trip however was Christopher. He’d been allowed to take a rare absence from school for this, though so close to the end of the year his teachers had put together homework packets for him to complete. He wasn’t thrilled about that, but Buck and Eddie were proud of the way he’d dutifully worked on them both before leaving and during the two day drive, so there really wasn’t much left. Buck had mapped out the drive and reserved hotels with Natalia in mind so there weren’t a ton of fun stops along the way, but he found a few things to make it nicer for Chris, and he was able to have the king rooms swapped for 2 queens. The second days drive was meant to bring them to the ranch, but instead they stopped to see the Museum of the Rockies in Bozeman and got another hotel. Eddie insisted on paying for this one, since Buck had already taken care of the one last night and was getting the one on the way home as well. It only took a few hours to drive up to the Rocking R the next morning, and Chris was practically bouncing out of the backseat when they turned down the gravel drive and though the massive gate.
“You used to work here, Buck? This is so cool!”
“I sure did! For two summers. It was a lot of fun, and it’s how I made friends with the people who are getting married.”
“Jack and Megan, right?”
“Yep! Jack’s dad owns the place and he was my boss.”
“Was he a nice boss?”
“Yeah, he really was. Super nice. I got pretty lucky, seeing the job ad for this place right when my construction job was wrapping up, and then they hired me over the phone.” Chris had turned and practically plastered his face to the window to look at the cattle across the way, so Buck continued his story to Eddie instead. “Can’t believe he hired me just like that, a dumbass 20-year-old kid with no ranch experience at all. It was good for me, though. I’m not sure my old Jeep would’ve made it much further without the guys here helping me fix a few things, and being able to live in the bunkhouse all summer long instead of crashing in parking lots between jobs really made it feel like home.”
Buck didn’t notice the way Eddie’s gaze got a little sad as he thought about dumbass 20-year-old Buck being homeless. It was the same kind of sad that he felt about dumbass 20-year-old Eddie laying quiet and alone in his bunk in basic. Buck was grinning at the memory though and Chris was excitedly pointing out the buildings he could now see they were about to pull up to, so Eddie put those thoughts away for now.
Buck pulled around the circular turnaround in front of the main house and around where a second drive veered off towards the back. There were several trucks and SUV parked in a row next to a large barn so they pulled beside them. No sooner than they climbed out of the Jeep and stretched away the stiffness of the drive, a blonde woman wearing a blue floral prairie dress and scuffed boots ran out of the house banging the screen door wide.
“Evan! Oh my god, look at you!”
She practically threw herself at Buck, who caught her easily and spun her into a hug. “Megan! Gorgeous as ever. You let me know if you come to your senses, me an Eddie’ll whisk you away from Jack like that!” Buck nodded towards Eddie and then snapped his fingers.
Megan laughed. “Watch yourself, Evan Buckley, Jack might hear you and take you up on your offer! After the hassle of getting all this ready, I think he’s thinking twice about what he’s getting himself in to.”
“Not a chance in hell,” said blond man a little shorter than Eddie and covered in dust as he came out of the barn and threw his arms jokingly around Megan. “It took every trick I had to get her to look my way in the first place. I’m not gonna let you steal her away now!”
“Jack! Good to see you, man.” Buck gave him a big hug as well. “I shouldn’t have stayed away for so long but I’m so glad you wanted me here for this.”
“We couldn’t imagine doing it without you,” Megan said. “Now introduce me to your guests.”
Eddie and Chris had come around to stand beside Buck, and Buck put his hands on Chris’s shoulders. “Jack and Megan, this is Christopher Diaz, who is my very best friend in the world. And we brought his dad, Eddie, too,” Buck said in a dismissive tone.
“Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Christopher Diaz!” Megan held out a hand for him to shake while Jack quietly shook Eddie’s hand. “Is this your first time on a ranch?”
“I was born in Texas, so I’ve been on a ranch before but it’s been a long time. I was pretty little. And Buck found me a place to go horseback riding in LA.”
“Did you love it? We have two really nice and gentle horses here that I like to take my nieces riding on. If it’s okay with your dad and Buck, I could take you, too.”
Chris spun around excitedly. “Can I, Dad?”
Eddie looked sideways at Buck and they had a quick silent conversation. “Sure Mijo, that sounds fun.”
“Why don’t you guys let Megan take you up to the house to stow your bags while I finish up out here? And then Evan can show you all around? We’re making dinner in the bunkhouses tonight for everyone, but if y’all are hungry now feel free to see what’s in our kitchen, you can have whatever, right Meg?”
“Yeah, anything in there at all. Let me just grab my phone and I’ll show you where to go.”
Megan went back into the big house and they could hear her calling out to someone inside. Jack told Eddie and Chris again that he was glad to meet them and he hoped they had a nice weekend, then he headed back into the barn.
Eddie turned to Buck. “They seem nice.” Eddie could literally see how pleased Buck was that Eddie liked his friends.
“They are! Everyone here is really nice, I’m so glad you guys could come with me.”
Eddie gave Buck’s shoulder a brief squeeze as Megan crashed back through the screen door. “Me too, Buck.”
They all climbed back into the Jeep and followed Megan’s truck down a gravel drive that led from the barns parking area off through a field. They had to stop twice and Eddie got out to open and close the gates as the vehicles passed from one pasture to another before the small green house with a grey stone chimney came into view. It was set beside a small barn and an even smaller shed, and there was an old water pump out under a tree that held a wooden swing and beds of wildflowers all across the front and side. It was one of the most idyllic places Eddie had ever seen and Chris was enchanted.
“Well, this is it!” Megan said, hopping out. Buck grabbed their two suitcases while Eddie attempted to gather up all the things Chris had managed to spread across the back seat.
“Wow, I can’t believe how different this is! Eds, this house was half this size and white and brown the last time I saw it, and definitely did not have a flower in sight. I replaced most of the screens and half the floor on that porch my first summer here.”
“And you did a damn fine job. When we moved in, we had to do a lot of work but the porch was still solid.” Buck grinned at her praise and Eddie felt a thrill of pride. Which was a perfectly normal reaction to your best friend being complimented, he was sure.
She bypassed the stone stairs that led to the front porch and took them up onto the central screened porch to show them into the bedroom addition. There were two doors that opened up onto the porch and she swung them both open. “Here’s where you guys will be staying. Both bedrooms are the same and I already made up the beds. You three are the only ones staying with us, so you can figure out who’s is who’s. I do have an Xbox you can hook up in whichever room you want to claim Chris, but unfortunately you can’t connect to the internet. We don’t have WiFi out here and the cell service is pretty spotty. The big house and both bunkhouses have WiFi if you need to connect, the passwords are written on the chalkboards in the kitchens.”
The rooms were pretty much identical, mirror images of one another. Queen sized beds, a dresser and nightstand set that looked like they were built here at the ranch if Buck was guessing correctly, and an armchair set by the window. There was a flat-screen tv mounted on the wall above the dresser, a small closet in the back corner, and a Jack and Jill bathroom connected the two rooms.
They dropped all of their luggage into one of the rooms to sort out later on, and followed Megan back to the porch where she gestured towards a seating area with two couches, a small table, and a radio. “This is the best place on the whole ranch to sit if it rains, which it’s supposed to do tomorrow morning. You know how forecasts go, but I hope it does because it looks like clear skies for days after it passes.”
“Over here,” she continued, “is our place. You’re welcome to come in and use the kitchen whenever, or if you want those Xbox games.” There were two doors on this side of the porch as well. One set of french doors with windows that were blocked by curtains, and a second, single door. Megan opened the single door and led them into her living room. It was the perfect rustic cabin. Vaulted ceilings, exposed beams, huge stone fireplace. It even had a fancy old rifle mounted above the mantle. It was open to the kitchen. There was a short hall off of the kitchen that led to Jack and Megan’s bedroom, a bathroom, and a small laundry. “You can use this machine if you need to, and this bathroom has a shower stall instead of the tub if Chris would be more comfortable with that,” she offered to Eddie as Buck and Chris exclaimed over the video game library Buck had pointed out to him after Megan finished showing him the kitchen.
“Thank you, I’ll have a look at the guest bath and see what we think.”
Megan smiled and nodded. “Well, I should get back. You guys can settle in up here or come back to the big house. Some of the guests are already in the bunkhouse hanging out but I think it’s all my relatives, no one Evan knows. You’re welcome to join them anyway of course. We’ll all be getting together and doing dinner around 6. Evan can show you guys all around if you want, he probably remembers where everything is, just make sure you don’t leave any gates open.”
“Oh, I sure won’t make that mistake again!” Buck joined them in the kitchen. “Are you sure you guys don’t mind us relocating the Xbox?”
“Not at all, Jack’s too busy to play much anyway. Go on ahead and move it so your boy has something to do. I’m gonna go on, I left Mae doing some meal planning. Go wherever you want, treat it like a vacation!” Megan hugged all three of them before breezing out.
They took her advice and moved the Xbox to one of the guest bedrooms for Chris, and then the three of them walked around outside a little and talked about Buck’s ranching days. He pointed out some landmarks in the distance, places where he camped under the stars overnight or the mountains in the far distance that marked the far edge of the ranch. He told them about the river that was at the base of it, where someone had taken a picture that he’d sent to Maddie and promised to ask Maddie to text it to him whenever they had service again. Buck made them sandwiches with some sliced ham he found in the fridge and they finished off the bag of chips they’d opened on the drive from the airport.
After eating, they piled back in the Jeep and drove back to the main house. They found Megan still in the kitchen, and then Buck greeted Mae, Jack’s stepmother. Mae didn’t know Buck well, but she did have a story about a grass fire that happened one of those summers and how it wasn’t surprising that he ended up a firefighter. Mae was a wonderful storyteller, and Chris was hanging on her every word, though it was a little disconcerting that everyone kept calling Buck ‘Evan’ all the time. When he voiced that, Buck just laughed. “No one called me Buck until the fire department, buddy. All these people only ever knew me as Evan.”
“That’s just weird.”
Megan made good on her promise to take Chris horseback riding. The horse was indeed slow and gentle. Chris had ridden larger and faster animals at the stables in LA, but without the special saddles and equipment here, he was happy to make do with slow and steady in exchange for being out in the wide-open countryside. They took him out into one of the empty fields and Megan walked beside the mare and talked with Chris while Buck and Eddie leaned against the fence and watched from a distance. Buck sent a few photos to the chat group of Chris, the landscape, a selfie, and two of an unwilling Eddie who was flipping him off in the second one.
After the ride, Mae called out that dinner was ready, so they helped her load it into Megan’s SUV.
The bunkhouses were situated not too far from the main house to walk if they didn’t have all the food, but far enough that it was clearly a separate location. There were two of them, with a dirt parking area in front of each and a large space in between that held a fire pit and a haphazard array of unmatched chairs, benches, and picnic tables. They unloaded the food onto one of the picnic tables and a few dishes were brought out from inside one of them as well. The other guests crowded around and Megan attempted to introduce them to her family, but there were so many people that the names and faces got a bit muddled.
They stood back with Mae while Megan and her relatives made plates. “The bunkhouses look nice,” Buck commented.
“Yes, they’ve been fixed up since you were here last. Had to, actually. There was a tornado come through, ripped both the roofs right off! Thank goodness it was in the afternoon when they were empty and not at night.”
“Oh, wow!”
“With all the water damage inside, it ended up being easier to just raze them both to the foundations and start over. No one’s inside right now, you want to come look?”
Buck, ever curious, absolutely wanted to look around.
“They’re both the same now,” Mae explained as she led them to the one further away. “We ran new plumbing and electric so there’s a kitchen in each. We don’t employ quite so many people as we used to decades ago, so the room full of bunks didn’t make as much sense.”
“When I lived here, this building was just one big room with a whole bunch of beds and cabinets,” Buck explained to Chris. “And that one back there was two big rooms. One was a kitchen and dining room and we all ate there together, whatever the cook made that day. And the other room was like a locker room with a bunch of showers and bathrooms.”
“What if you didn’t like what the cook made that day?” Chris asked.
“You just ate it anyway, bud. Or else you’d be awfully hungry!”
Chris slid his eyes at Eddie and then blinked up innocently. “Is that why you never complain about Dad’s cooking?” Buck and Mae burst out in laughter as Eddie sighed deeply. He could really do without the continuing jokes.
“That’s right. I’ll never let food go to waste, even if it’s something your dad made.” Buck smiled at Eddie, eyes sparkling with laughter, and Eddie suddenly didn’t care about being the butt of the joke again, as long as it kept Buck smiling like that.
The entrance to the bunkhouse led to a large open living room. In the back were two dining tables, a kitchen, and a living area, with a bathroom opposite the kitchen. Beyond the dining tables, there was a rear exit that was flanked with coat hooks and benches. There was a hallway off to each side of the living room. “Down each hall are four bedrooms. That side has two more bathrooms and this side has one bathroom and one laundry room. So each house sleeps 8 men with their own private room and has 3 bathrooms. There’s not as much fighting over facilities anymore and we have been able to keep most of the crew coming back.”
“I might never have left if it was this nice back then,” Buck commented as he wandered over to look out the back door.
Eddie bumped their shoulders together. “Then I’m really glad it wasn’t as nice back then.”
Buck ducked his head but couldn’t quite hide his flushed cheeks.
They headed back outside at the sound of several trucks pulling up.
It turned out to be Jack, his brother and father, and most of the rest of the crew coming in to eat so they went back and joined them. Buck’s old boss, Charlie, slapped his back and wanted to know all about firefighting. There were a few other kids running around, and two older teens, but unfortunately no one was very close to Chris’s age so they ended up going back to the little green house fairly soon after they ate.
Chris sent them away once he was settled in the front bedroom with the stack of games, so Buck and Eddie settled into the couches on the screened porch and hung out into the evening. Eddie fell asleep at some point and woke up to quiet voices nearby.
It was dusk and the voices belonged to Buck and Chris. Eddie sat up and turned around to see them out in the back yard. There were fireflies dancing all around the yard. Buck and Chris were out there with them, several of the little bugs crawling on Buck’s hands for Chris to inspect closer. “Haven’t seen this many of these in a long time,” Buck was saying softly. “Hard to find in LA. Did you have lightning bugs in Texas?”
“I don’t think so,” Chris said after a moment’s thought. “I can’t remember ever seeing one before.”
“Want to hold them?” Buck offered his hand out to Chris, who eagerly reached forwards. “They’ll crawl upwards and only fly away when they feel like they’ve crawled high enough,” Buck explained as he held his hand down below Chris’s arm to let the little bugs crawl from his fingers to Chris’s forearm. “So if you keep twisting your arm around, they’ll stay on you for a few minutes. Did you know that there’s like 2000 different species of lightning bugs?”
“Wow, that’s a lot!” Chris looked on in awe as one of the bugs reached the tip of his finger and opened its wings wide before lifting off.
“Yeah, and sometimes, some of them will sync up and blink their little lights in unison. I’d like to see that, I bet it’s really cool.”
Eddie leaned against the back of the couch and watched the two of them as Chris got his fill of firefly facts, until distant headlights drew closer and Megan and Jack came home. They entered through their front door and flicked on a few lights inside. A few moments later, they made their way into the screened porch in time for Buck and Chris to walk around and join them.
“Evening, guys,” Jack greeted him. “Catching fireflies?”
“Yeah, Buck caught some for me. There’s so many!”
“We’re lucky out here because there’s a creek way back in the back of the yard. I think they like to live near water. You don’t hardly see them up by the big house,” Jack explained as he and Megan sat down on the couch opposite Eddie. Buck sat down beside Eddie, who had to shift backwards to make room. Chris was pulled down across Buck’s lap with a squawk.
“I used to catch them up by the lake when I was a kid,” Eddie offered. “Put them in jars for the girls to look at, let them go before bed.”
“They were everywhere in Pennsylvania. All summer long, every time you went outside at night you could see lightning bugs everywhere. We didn’t even have to try to catch them.”
“Buck, why do you call them lightning bugs?”
“I don’t know, buddy, that’s just what we called them growing up. I think it’s a regional thing. Like saying pop or soda in different parts of the county.”
“Huh.” Chris thought about that for a moment. “Weird.”
“I think it’s interesting, how different people speaking the same language can have different words for the same thing.” Christopher pondered that for a few minutes before retreating to the Xbox again. The four adults talked for awhile about the differences between the ranch and LA., and El Paso and some of the other places they’d been, but before long it was fully dark and Megan told them she was ready for bed.
“Me, too,” Jack agreed. “Buck, Eddie, goodnight. We’ll be out early; we’ll try not to wake you. It’s going to rain, so it’s a good day to sleep in.”
“Night, guys. We’re not far behind you,” Buck answered, eyeing Eddie to make sure he was in agreement.
Buck could hear Chris trying to sweet talk Eddie into more Xbox time through the open doors of the jack-and-jill bathroom after dark, but his pleas were in vain. Listening to the crickets chirping instead of the never-quiet of city life was soothing, and soon they were asleep.
The morning came with rain and thunder. Buck was equal parts glad and disappointed that the old metal roof of this place had been replaced, because as wonderful as the rain would have sounded, it would also have been very loud and woken Chris up early.
Megan and Jack were already gone when Buck came out onto the porch a little after 8, so he went ahead and made use of their kitchen. By the time Eddie came looking for him at 9, he had already made breakfast and had coffee ready. Chris was still asleep, so they put his plate in the microwave and took their meal to the porch. Megan had been right; the porch was a great place to sit with the rain. It felt warm and intimate with the rain coming down like curtains around it. Even though there were two couches, they sat together to watch it fall and spoke in hushed voices when they weren’t simply sitting in a comfortable silence.
Chris finally started moving around at 10:30, so Eddie went to him while Buck re-heated his food. They had a video game racing tournament, finished Chris’s homework (at least, what they could finish without any internet), and made a late lunch before the rain finally petered out and the sun came.
Jack came by not long after to exchange his wet clothes for dry ones and reminded them that dinner would be around 7 that night. He started to leave, but Buck ran out after him. When he came back, he said, “Hey Chris, want to go see the river?”
Of course he did, so they packed up some things and headed out. It was the river from Maddie’s picture, and before they did anything else, they found a place to prop up Buck’s phone and recreated it with all three of them sitting on the Jeep’s hood. Then they taught Chris how to skip rocks, took their shoes off and walked in the icy cold shallows, and enjoyed their afternoon. They got a little muddy, and at one point they thought they might’ve gotten the Jeep stuck in a mud hole, but besides needing to hit up a car wash, they made it back in time for the family style dinner.
It was more people than yesterday, with many of the other wedding guests having arrived today and the whole bridal party on hand as they’d done their rehearsal today while the crew was driving the cattle to a further away field. Tomorrow would be a flurry of activity so most chose to have an early night. Tired out from their own activities, Buck and Eddie followed suit and Eddie had Chris bathed and settled into watching a movie by dark. The boy fell asleep while Eddie was showering, so he ended up sitting in Buck’s room flipping through the satellite channels to find something. They had a weekly movie night, but since Chris was there, they always picked movies that were PG-13 or below, so they were taking advantage of his current absence to pick something a little more grown-up. Eddie narrowed it down to two choices, and Buck made the final decision after his own shower.
They settled onto the bed beside each other, leaning against the headboard with some space in between. Somehow though, just like it always did, they ended up fully invading each other’s space, and they were both asleep before the credits rolled.
***
Eddie woke up to the sound of a truck starting and tires crunching on gravel as it pulled away.
He was warm and drowsy, his thoughts were sluggish and still in that place where you’re maybe still dreaming, but he felt anchored and safe, sheltered and protected, so he let himself slip back into sleep, when there was movement behind him. Eddie suddenly became aware that someone was in bed with him, pressed against his back. As his consciousness came back fully online, he realized he’d fallen asleep in Buck’s bed, and the person behind him, wrapping him in their arms and breathing softly against the back of his neck, holding him, was Buck.
Eddie carefully twisted until he had enough leverage to slide out from underneath Buck’s arm. He tried to do it gently as to not wake his friend, so once he was standing, he stopped to look at him for a moment. Only to make sure he hadn’t woken him, of course. Buck looked relaxed and soft in his sleep, calm in a way that he wasn’t often while awake. His hair was a riot of curls from going to sleep with it wet and Eddie smiled. He’d always thought the curls were adorable, but Buck always kept them under tight control.
Eddie could hear a vehicle coming, so he crossed through into his and Chris’s room to look out the window. It was Megan’s bridesmaids. They were carrying what looked like coffee and donuts, and after a flurry of activity, they left carrying several bags and with Megan’s hair twisted up in some sort of knots all over her head.
Knowing that the house was empty, Eddie made his way across to start some coffee. He was going to start some breakfast, but fortunately Buck appeared as he was standing in front of the stove considering whether or not to risk someone else’s skillets.
“Morning, Eds.” Buck’s voice was low and rough. An odd twist flashed through his belly and he paused, wondering if perhaps the coffee creamer was bad? But them Buck was there, taking the skillet out of his hands. “Scrambled or over easy?”
“I don’t care, whatever you want.” Eddie moved back out of the way and surreptitiously sniffed his coffee. Smelled okay. He took a tentative sip. Tasted fine. He mentally shrugged. Whatever that was, it was gone now.
Buck directed him to make some toast, and by the time Chris came looking for them, they’d made a stack of egg sandwiches and cut up some fruit. They had several hours to kill before the wedding, and their offers to help had been firmly declined, so they decided to drive into town to look around, and maybe buy some groceries to replace what they’d been eating and snacks to have packed for the drive home tomorrow.
The town was very much the same as Buck remembered, but also very different as many of the storefronts were different businesses now and there had been some substantial growth on the edges. He pointed out the feed store where Megan had worked at, still looking exactly the same as it had been back then, but the grocery store he’d been expecting to be across the street from it was now a clothing store. The park was still in the same spot, so they parked there and did the walking trail and read the placard that denoted the area as a historical landmark.
After that, they found a local restaurant for lunch and asked the waitress about the grocery store. She directed them to a Walmart, so they spent some time shopping for some toys and books and things that Chris insisted were absolute necessities before grabbing some groceries and heading back. It was just in time to get dressed. It was a more casual wedding than their last few had been, so they were in jeans and button downs. Buck was wearing dark blue jeans and a green shirt and was rolling the sleeves up as Eddie and Chris walked in. Chris was looking adorable in his red polo, but when he caught sight of Eddie, Buck was struck speechless. Eddie was wearing black jeans and boots paired with a deep maroon shirt over a blank tank top. It was unbuttoned and had some sort of faint pattern picked out in shinier thread, and his hair was tousled and a few locks were hanging across his forehead.
As he stared, Eddie noticed and looked down at himself self-consciously. “What, does it look stupid? Sophia gave it to me for Christmas and I’ve never worn it.”
Buck swallowed and stuttered through an answer. “No, no, i-it’s fine, I I I just… thought I’d forgotten the card!”
“No, you double checked three times before we left, and again when we got here. It’s in the glove box ready to go.” Eddie finished buttoning his shirt and rolled the sleeves like Buck. Buck took a moment to mourn the loss of the tank top visual before remembering that that was not a very platonic thought and pushed it out of his mind.
“Okay, Chris, you got your book and stuff?” They’d agreed to take a small bag of distractions to help Chris get through the long evening. Weddings weren’t really that fun when you just had to sit there quietly with the boring adults all night.
There were signs posted at the big house that directed guests to drive past the bunkhouses and into one of the close fields. There was a large parking area and a short walk to where they’d set up a wooden stage with an arbor and an array of white wooden folding chairs separated by a very wide aisle. The arbor was framing a phenomenal view of the distant mountains. A small band was off to the side, playing a low medley.
The Minister and Mae, along with the mother of the bride whose name Buck could not recall, arrived on a wagon driven by Charlie, and a few minutes later the band began playing a bit louder and some of the guests exclaimed when the wedding party began arriving on horseback. This was why the aisle was so exceptionally wide, to make it easier for the horses to navigate. The bridesmaids were wearing really fancy cowgirl boots that were clearly meant to be on display as their fancy western-style skirts were hiked up for riding, but Megan herself was riding side-saddle while wearing a stunning creamy white lace gown with matching white boots.
Chris was thrilled to recognize the horse she’d taken him for a ride on.
The wedding party stayed on their horses for the ceremony, the Minister standing on the stage to put him closer to their level. The ceremony was short and sweet and when it came time for the first kiss, they had the horses step closer together and Jack actually lifted Megan off of her horse and onto his lap. The minister took her horse as they rode away together.
Afterwards, Charlie offered rides across the field on the other side of the parking area to where they had two large white tents set up. The smaller one was full of bustling activity as the caterers were setting up a buffet line and bar area, the larger one held the dance floor, a DJ setting up a table, and all the seating. There was also a trailer marked with the universal bathroom symbols. Eddie was pleased to see that. As a guy, going off to pee in a field was not a difficulty, but Chris would have trouble getting far enough away from the tents with his crutches and would absolutely die of embarrassment if there was an accident at his age.
There was no seating plan, so they found a table at the edge and were joined by one of the ranch hands they’d sat with a dinner the first night. The bridal party was taking photos during the ‘golden hour’, so Buck grabbed them some drinks from the bar while Eddie made small-talk and Chris pulled out his book. He came back to find Eddie nodding along as one of them men, Jared, explained that he’d also grown up in Texas, but had moved away due to his family’s deeply held political views. He agreed with some of them, sure, but some of the others were a source of conflict and they’d found that they were able to get along much better with some significant daily distance.
“Exactly! I can handle some phone calls, a visit on a holiday, but I just can’t do every day. They’re very Catholic and the guilt just ate me alive as a kid.” Eddie shook his head. “I don’t want that for him. And the social programs are so much stronger in California. We have great insurance as firefighters, but once Buck helped me get through the red tape, we were able to apply for a bunch of grants and stuff that helped us get a dedicated home health aid and enrolled into a private school that could accommodate not only his physical needs but also had the advanced academics. He’s so damn smart, but if we’d stayed where we were at, he would’ve been stuck in either whatever public district we happened to land in or in a private Catholic school.”
“My cousins went to Catholic school,” Jared said. “Out of four girls, two of them were pregnant and married by 18, one had a serious drug problem, and the other, well…” He glanced at Chris, who was not paying attention, but he lowered it voice anyway. “She nearly killed herself in high school because she was a lesbian who was afraid to be herself. She lives in New York now and I’m pretty sure she’s cut off the entire family except for me and my brother. He was already living out there when she moved. Honestly, I think that’s the only reason she gave us a second chance was so she’d have at least one friend in the city. Absolutely thriving now. She’s a model and married to a photographer. Sometimes, you just have to find your own family.”
Buck and Eddie shared a look and a soft smile. That sentiment was definitely a shared one amongst their little found family at the 118.
After their deep discussion, the conversation turned a little lighter when two other ranch employees joined them. Jared introduced them all and not long after, the DJ announced the bridal party’s entrance. They arrived on foot this time, and then they were all pleased to hear that it was time to eat. The reception was great, good food, good conversation, and drinks flowing. Chris was having fun, doing a little dancing and finding a few other kids to hang out with, even if they were a little younger.
He was over at another table with them when Jack’s brother Wyatt made his way over and joined Buck for a catch-up. Wyatt had also been on the crew when Buck worked there, but he wasn’t on social media so they had a lot to talk about. “I can’t believe that I’ve never even left Montana and you’ve done so much! I mean, Peru? What the hell kinda balls do you have just going to another country on a whim?” Wyatt shook his head in disbelief. “And the SEALs? Shit, I can’t even imagine.”
Buck just laughed. “I was just trying to find my place, man. Find something that felt like I fit and could call home. Maybe you were just born in the right place.”
Wyatt looked across the way at where his wife, his high-school sweetheart who he’d already been married to when Buck met them, was dancing with two of their little girls. “You know, I think you’re right.”
Buck looked over at Eddie, who knocked their knees together under the table to indicate that he’d heard what Buck said, and that Buck fit in with him and Chris just fine. Buck smiled and lifted his glass to take a drink while a light pink flush lit his cheeks.
“So how long have you two been together?”
Buck chocked on his drink at Wyatt’s question. Eddie looked at him in alarm, but Buck waved him off.
“We’re not together,” Eddie answered while Buck tried to breath normally. “Buck’s my best friend.”
Buck nodded. “Yeah, we just came together because we both have a handful of weddings to go to this year and no dates, plus we thought it would be fun for Chris to see the ranch.”
“Really?” Wyatt looked at them in disbelief. “You’re just friends? And going to weddings together?” He drew the question out slowly like he thought they were misunderstanding one another.
“Yep, exactly! This is the 4th one?” Buck looked at Eddie for confirmation.
“Third, technically, since we were both actually going to the first one anyway. I don’t think that one counts as part of the deal.”
“Okay, yeah, third, then. And there’s 5 more to go. Or or I guess 4 more, if ones we’re both invited to don’t count. Cause there’s Michael and David’s.”
“Yeah, we’d both be at that one anyway.”
Wyatt looked at them askance. “Well, I can certainly say I was not expecting that. I do not think I like any of my friends that much as to subject myself to hanging out at weddings to keep them company.”
Buck and Eddie just laughed. “We’re pretty used to being together. We work 24-hour shifts at the station and the occasional 48. You learn to coexist pretty quickly,” Buck offered as an explanation. It didn’t look like Wyatt quite agreed, but he didn’t press and instead asked about how sleeping works on those long shifts.
Hours later, back at the little green house, if Megan and Jack also expressed their surprise at the wedding-date arrangement, well, Buck didn’t feel the need to share their misconceptions with Eddie. It’s not like they and Wyatt were the first people to mistake their close partnership as romantic, and they likely wouldn’t be the last.
The following morning was spent packing up the Jeep, making one last breakfast in Megan’s kitchen, and taking another horseback ride on Megan’s horse before heading home again.
***
Another month passed before the next wedding, this one being one of Buck’s roommates from when he first moved to LA. Tyler was the second of that friend group to be getting married and it was down in San Diego so they’d be staying overnight.
Tyler, along with Connor, Abe, and Noah, had all been in the rented house together with Buck when he’d come back from Peru, all the way until he’d moved in with Abby. Noah had fallen off the face of the Earth, it seemed, but the others had stayed friends. Connor and Kameron had gotten married last year and Abe was there with his girlfriend Natasha. The six of them spent the evening together, all in the same boat of not knowing any of the relatives or co-workers. No one came right out and asked about their relationship like Wyatt had done in Montana, but they asked Eddie all the same getting-to-know-you questions that they asked Natasha. As the night progressed, both Eddie and Buck noticed that their casual touches, bringing each other drinks, and silent communication seemed… Significantly different than the relationship that Connor, Buck, and Abe had with one another. Buck couldn’t help but notice that Eddie brought him another drink without asking, like Abe had been so attentive to Natasha. Eddie couldn’t help but notice that Buck’s arm slung across the back of his chair looked an awful lot like the slightly possessive way Connor’s arm was across the back of Kameron’s.
Neither of them pointed out this observation to the other.
And when they got back to their hotel room after the reception, well, they each considered that sharing a hotel room with Hen or Chim would’ve definitely meant separate beds, but since it was just the two of them, there was no one to wonder why they fell into the king size bed together.
***
The fifth of their wedding dates was Eddie’s cousin Camila, in late June. Chris was out of school now and he was every bit as excited about this one as he had been the trip to Montana. The wedding itself would be boring, of course, but they had made plans for Chris to go home with Eddie’s parents directly from the reception. He’d be staying for three weeks, until Eddie and Buck returned to attend their sixth wedding date, one of the only ones of Eddie’s high school buddies he’d kept in touch with. They’d pick Chris up the day after.
Buck was nervous about this one. Not only was this wedding going to be a full Catholic mass entirely in Spanish, but this was Eddie’s extended family. Such a different atmosphere than being with friends. Abuela and Pepa would be there of course, but so would Eddie’s parents and sisters. He’d met Ramon and Helena before, a few times actually, but each meeting had come with a vaguely dismissive air. Like they were as polite as necessary to his face, but they were not planning to remember him once the immediate interaction was finished. He’d met Eddie’s sisters briefly at Eddie’s shield ceremony and they had started following Buck on Instagram ages ago, but they didn’t interact much beyond liking photos that he’d tagged Eddie in. It was kind of silly, but Buck really hoped to make a good impression on them all this time.
After conferring with Eddie on exactly what one wears to a Catholic mass, Buck had packed the suit he wore to Hen and Karen’s vow renewal, with a new white button down instead of the polo he’d previously paired it with.
Camila’s wedding was, fortunately, not being held in El Paso, but in the hometown of her fiancé, which meant that Eddie had happily booked a hotel room instead of being guilted into staying at his parents' house. And if he waited to find out which hotel they had booked before purposefully booking a different one? Well, that was between him and his sisters, who had also done the same thing.
The 15 hour drive to Amarillo was done mostly overnight. They’d come off a pretty hard shift at 8am and had went home to Eddie’s house together and crashed for about 10 hours, before picking Chris up from where he’d been sleeping over with Denny again. Buck had made them dinner from a hodge-podge of things that they didn’t want to go bad while they were gone, and then they loaded up the truck. Chris went through his bedtime routine but changed into comfy sweats and a t-shirt instead of pajamas and he and Buck read a few chapters of their current shared book while Eddie drove. Around midnight, Buck reclined his seat and slept through Arizona before Eddie woke him and they switched places. Eddie took back over at the Texas state line. All in all, it was a nice drive with relatively few stops considering they were traveling with a child.
Eddie had chosen his hotel very carefully. It was several blocks away from the hotel that his parents had booked, but had a similar enough name that if they questioned it, he could claim a mistake. Sophia and Adriana and her fiancé had also booked in at the hotel Eddie had chosen, and they were going to blame Eddie if they got any push back. Perks of being the oldest sibling, he supposed.
They arrived at the hotel too early to check in, but after Buck chatted with the front desk staff for a few moments, they agreed to prioritize turnover for their room. So they found a place for an early lunch and checked out the nearby Botanical Gardens. When they returned, their room was ready. It was just a basic 2 queen beds, but it had an accessible shower and there was a continental breakfast. They took turns showering off the long drive and soon Eddie was walking down stairs to meet his sisters as they arrived.
He dutifully helped Sophia carry her luggage, though could not understand why she needed quite so much of it. She had one huge rolling bag, one rolling carry-on bag, her large oversized purse stuffed full, and two grocery bags. One had snacks and the other had tequila. “For strength, Eddie.” She says with a dark look as he glances at it questioningly. “For strength.”
He understands, and takes two shots and only feels a little guilty at not offering some to Buck.
Abuela and Pepa are as happy to see Buck as he is to see them. After they’d hugged Chris, they both hugged Buck before Eddie himself. Eddie could understand, he’d miss Buck more than himself too.
His parents were more than a little confused by Buck’s presence, maybe even a little angry. They’d heard from Abuela that he was bringing a plus one, so naturally they’d assumed it was Marisol. He’d already told them that he’d broken up with her, but it seems like they’d either ignored that or it was wishful thinking. They weren’t outright rude to Buck, but when they noticeably excluded him from the conversation, Eddie made a point of mentioning his name as often as possible. Christopher unwittingly helped with this immensely, since nearly everything the boy did included Buck. Chris went to the zoo? Buck had taken him. Chris had a big science project? Buck helped him put it together. Chris read a new book? Buck had reserved it for him at the library.
Eddie felt like the cat who ate the canary when his mothers face took on that pinched look that he knew meant she was annoyed, and turned the conversation towards Adriana and her own upcoming wedding. As usual, it didn’t take long before Adriana was rolling her eyes.
“I really just think that after you see how lovely Camila’s ceremony is, that you’ll reconsider, is all,” Helena said offhandedly as she finished off another glass of wine.
“We’ve talked about this. Mom,” Adriana said in a tone that implied that this was not the first or even the tenth time they’d had this particular conversation. “Tony’s doesn’t speak much Spanish and most of his family doesn't at all. I’m not excluding them from the ceremony.” She stabbed a piece of her fish a little forcefully and Tony looked a little nervous.
“Tal vez si uno de mis hijos no insistiera en salir con un gringo… (Maybe if just one of my children wouldn't insist on dating a gringo...)” Helena muttered under her breath.
“Helena,” Ramon cut in quietly. “I think we agreed be happy that Adriana is choosing to get married in a church instead of eloping to the islands, yes?”
Helena grunted into her glass as Adriana loudly thanked her father. “Gracias, Papa. La planificación de una boda ya es bastante estresante sin necesidad de discutir sobre cosas que ya se han decidido. (Thank you, Dad. Wedding planning is stressful enough without arguing about things that have already been decided.)”
“Edmundo no discutió conmigo sobre su boda. (Edmundo didn't argue with me about his wedding.)”
Eddie sighed. “Don’t even start on me. Nothing about that situation is something anyone wants to duplicate.”
“Habría estado bien si no fuera por esa mujer que se escapó. (It would have been just fine if not for that woman running off).”
Eddie dropped his fork onto his plate and stared daggers at his mother. “That’s enough. We are not talking about her again.” Buck pushed his knee against Eddie’s in silent support and shot a look over at Chris, but fortunately he was deep in discussion with Abuela about something on his phone screen, and neither of them were listening.
“Entonces hablemos de Marisol, y de por qué has traído a una compañera de trabajo en lugar de a ella, ¿eh? (Then let's talk about Marisol, and why you have brought some coworker along with you instead of her, huh?)” Helena gestured with her fork. “¿Qué estás haciendo para que estas encantadoras mujeres no quieran quedarse contigo? Te diré qué es. Estás saliendo con este hombre tonto todo el tiempo cuando deberías buscar una buena madre para tu hijo. (What are you doing to make these lovely women not want to stay with you? I'll tell you what it is. You're hanging out with this silly man all the time when you should be finding a good mother for your son.)”
Eddie turned fully towards his mother to try and block Chris from the angry conversation. “Mi hijo tiene una madre. Shannon era su madre. Nadie con quien pueda o no salir será un reemplazo para ella. Y no hables así de Buck. Él es nuestro mejor amigo y haremos todo lo que queramos juntos. (My son has a mother. Shannon was his mother. No one that I may or may not date will be a replacement for her. And don't talk about Buck like that. He is our best friend and we'll do as much as we want to together.)”
Helena ignored him completely. “Es extraño que pases tanto tiempo con otro hombre. ¿No lo ves lo suficiente en el trabajo? ¿Qué debe pensar la gente cuando dejas a tu novia para pasar todo el tiempo con él? Van a pensar que estás junto a él. ¡Piensa en Chris! (It's strange for you to be spending so much time with another man. Don't you see him enough at work? What must people think when you dump your girlfriend to spend all your time with him? They're going to think you're together with him. Think of Chris!)”
“I am always thinking of Chris!” Eddie’s slightly raised voice drew a few glances from other diners, and unfortunately, it also caught Chris’s attention. “Every single decision I make is done while thinking of Chris. Chris loves Buck, they love spending time together and they’re good for each other. We’re going back to the hotel. Papa, thank you for dinner. Abuela, Pepa, I’m sorry for running out. We will see you tomorrow.” He flicked his eyes from Adriana to Sophia in a way that only siblings can do. It was both a silent apology and also an ask for them to find him at the hotel later.
With only a brief touch on Buck’s shoulder, Eddie walked out. Buck gathered Chris’s things and helped the boy to quickly follow.
The drive back to the hotel was tense, with Chris silently looking back and forth between the two adults. Buck fidgeted with his phone and pretended not to hear the chimes that Eddie’s phone was making as he received several messages. Back in the room, Eddie threw himself onto one of the beds and stared silently at the ceiling. Buck quietly suggested to Chris that they check out the pool while Dad relaxed, so Chris went to the bathroom to get changed. Once the door had shut behind him, Eddie yanked a pillow over his face and screamed into it.
Buck chuckled. “Feel better?”
“A little bit.” Eddie’s voice was muffled by the pillow, but at least he was speaking now.
“Want to talk about it?”
“No,” Eddie answered. “I just can’t believe we couldn’t make it through one single dinner. I thought they’d both be too polite to bring up Shannon and Marisol in front of you and Chris and Tony, especially out at a nice restaurant.”
“I don’t have to go tomorrow,” Buck offered. “I can just hang out here, watch some tv, maybe hit up the hotel gym?”
“No way. I’m not going without you.” Eddie tossed aside the pillow and sat up. “I mean, unless you don’t want to. I don’t want to make you go if you don’t want to, or if she made you uncomfortable. I’m not sure how much you caught…”
“Enough.”
“She did it on purpose, you know. Switched to Spanish to exclude you from the conversation. She used to do it to Shannon, too. I don’t know why she’s like that. She grew up mostly in Mexico, but her family is actually Swedish.”
Chris came out of the bathroom and Buck ducked in to put on his own shorts. When he came out, Chris had wheedled Eddie into swimming as well. Two hours later they were all in much better moods, shivering at the blast of AC in the hotel hallway, and ordering a pizza delivery on Buck’s phone.
Eddie had left his in the room so he could ignore his mothers calls easier, but after showering off the chlorine he picked it back up to see he’d missed 17 calls and dozens of messages. He swiped away the call notifications and skimmed through the messages. The most recent one was from Adriana. It said ‘We’re back at the hotel, call me as soon as you get this.’ Most of the rest were from his mother. There was a lot of “I can’t believe you” and “That was so rude” and “Do not ignore your mother” but then the later messages switched over to things like “You see what you have done” and “You’re a bad influence” and “Did you put Sophia up to this?”.
The last one was confusing, so he opened up Sophia’s messaging thread. There was only one message, and it said ‘Thank you for going first, I wouldn’t have had the strength or courage on my own. Can I come up to your room?’
He text her the room number, and called Adriana. “Oh my fucking God, Eddie,” she said by way of greeting. “Why did it take you so long to call me? Have you talked to mom yet?”
“No, we took Chris swimming and I left my phone in the room specifically to not talk to mom. Sophia is on her way to my room I think. What’s going on?”
“It seems like Sophia is a lot more like you than we thought.”
“The hell does that mean?”
“It means that after you ran away at dinner, she decided to come out to our parents!”
Eddie’s protests about running away died on his lips. “She came out, like came out?”
“Yes! She told them both off, said she was a lesbian, and she was moving to Chicago to live with her girlfriend. Mom told her to stop being dramática and telling lies. Tia Pepa told Sophia that she was proud of her and then Sophia cried. Mom and Dad kept blaming each other for the ‘attention-seeking behavior’. The manager asked us to leave, Abuela was so embarrassed. It was a fucking shitshow.”
Eddie had no idea what to say, and he nonsensically went with, “I’m not a lesbian.”
Buck emerged from the bathroom just in time to hear that, and gave him a funny look.
“Jesus, Eddie, I know you’re not a lesbian. I meant you’re bi, or gay, or whatever you’re going with. We were in the middle of telling mom off for bringing up that shit about Shannon again and mom accused you of running away like a coward.” Eddie flinched at the words, and Buck came over to rest a hand on his shoulder. He wasn’t wearing a shirt yet, and Eddie was very normal about that as he refocused his attention on Adriana’s call. “Sophia said that you were so brave, the bravest person she knew, and she looked up to you and wished she was as brave as you were to come to Texas with your boyfriend, and then she said she was moving in with her girlfriend in Chicago. Did you know about this?”
Eddie did not know about any of that. He didn’t know Sophia was gay, he didn’t know she was moving to Chicago, he didn’t know she thought he was brave, and he definitely didn’t know he’d brought his boyfriend to Texas. The boyfriend he didn’t know he had. Did he have a boyfriend?
He swayed in place a bit as he spiraled. “Whoa, Eds, I got you,” he distantly heard Buck say. Buck’s strong hands gripped his arms and settled him into the chair by the window. He let the phone drop into his lap and stared at it dumbly for a moment before Buck took it from him, looked to see who was on the line, and took over the call.
“Adriana? It’s Buck. Eddie’s uh… Processing? Is it okay to tell me what’s going on?” He’s silent as Adriana gives him the rundown, then there was a knock on the door and Eddie jolted back into focus.
He grabbed the phone from Buck. “Adri, she’s here, I’ll text you in a minute.” Adriana was still speaking, but he clicked off the call and pocketed his phone. “Buck, listen… That’s Sophia. She… She thought we were together and being brave about it and she’s going to need reassurance and support. We can clear up the misunderstanding about being together later, okay?”
Buck’s face went through several stages of emotion, before finally settling on resolute. “Yeah, okay. We can clear it up later on when everyone calms down. The important thing is to support Sophia.”
Sophia, who was knocking on the door again while Eddie’s phone was ringing away in his pocket.
Chris finally emerged from his own shower and stared at them. “Were either of you planning on getting the door?”
Thirty minutes later, the pizzas had arrived, and Buck had safely delivered Chris to Adriana’s room while Sophia had a breakdown in Buck and Eddie’s. She’d been so proud of herself at first, then panicked at torpedoing family dinner (“Pretty sure I did that first, Soph,” Eddie had assured her), then upset at her parents' reaction. Now they’d polished off most of the bottle of tequila between the three of them, and she’d circled back around to being proud of herself.
“I’m done being scared. I’m done living in a world where I don’t get to be who I am. I deserve a great love story,” she declared loudly as she paced. “Adri has Tony, you have Buck, and now I get to go see if Sara is mine.”
Eddie bit his lip. He knew he didn’t have Buck, but they’d already decided not to get into that tonight. Buck gently slid the tequila bottle further away from her as Eddie slid a water bottle closer.
“And I really just can’t thank you guys enough. I know, I know that I did a hard thing tonight in telling mom and dad, but I could only do it because you’d already done it first. I’ve been seeing your dates and stuff through Instagram photos and I’ve been seeing how you still managed to have a relationship with mom and dad, so I knew that it would be okay for me, too. That I wouldn’t have to lose everyone. I wasn’t planning on doing it tonight, I was going to wait until after I flew to Chicago tomorrow night, but when she was saying those things at dinner, I just thought… This is the opening, this is the perfect time to say it and say it in a way that lets me have your back like you’ve always had mine and Adri’s growing up.”
She was smiling and had tears rolling down her face, and there really wasn’t anything to do but give her a hug and tell her, again, how proud he was of her.
They finished the bottle off.
Adriana came up to get Chris’s things and he spent the night in her room.
Buck and Eddie woke up twisted around one another in Buck’s bed. Buck still shirtless, and Sophia was in the other bed.
They did not make it to Camila’s wedding.
Adriana went, though, and said that Ramon and Helena were on their absolute best behavior and did not mention Sophia or Eddie except to make a few vague excuses for their absence. She also said the food was awful and she wished she’d ditched as well.
They helped Sophia get her luggage back down into her rental car, the amount of it making a lot more sense now that they knew she was relocating, and Eddie hugged her tightly. She promised to let them know when her red-eye flight landed.
Eddie let Chris go for his visit as planned, his father quietly apologized for their behavior when they arrived to pick him up the next morning since he hadn’t been at the wedding.
They didn’t talk about it on the way home, and just said the wedding was fine when Hen asked.
***
The next wedding was Eddie’s friend Keith. They’d been friends since 6th grade when they both started playing baseball for the middle school team. He still lived in El Paso and the original plan was to stay at Eddie’s parents' house for free, but though Eddie had accepted his father’s apology, he wasn’t ready to spend time with them yet. He’d been nervous enough about Chris being with them, maybe listening to them saying more negative things, but his daily phone calls to Chris found the boy to be in good spirits. Eddie had tried to lightly press for details, but Chris had eventually flat out told him that “Grandma and Abuelo aren’t being mean about Buck or Sophia, dad.”
So Eddie booked them a hotel for another two nights. They got in around midnight after driving straight through again and crashed until lunchtime. Eddie took Buck to his favorite taco place and officially won the bet that their usual place in LA. was not as good.
They got ready for the wedding and headed over with time to spare, being used to driving in LA traffic. It worked out well though, because Eddie ran into several other friends in the church parking lot. They were having a great time catching up and telling Buck some fun, mildly embarrassing stories, when a woman with dyed purple hair walked over.
“Eddie! I’m so glad to see you!”
“Hey, Mira, how’ve you been?” He pulled her into a brief, one-armed hug.
“I’m good, good.” She glanced around to see who else was in the group before continuing. “I’ve been in touch with Soph, it sounds like she’s doing great. I’m so proud of her, you know?”
Eddie looked a bit nervous and turned to give Buck some context. “Mira is Keith’s cousin; she and Sophia were good friends.”
“Oh, it’s nice to meet you,” Buck stuck out his hand for her to shake, but instead she pulled him into a similar hug that she’d given Eddie.
“I wanted to come over and thank you both for helping Soph be ready to be out.” Eddie began to protest, but she stopped him. “I know, you’re gonna say that you were just doing what anybody should do, what any good brother should do, but not everyone does, you know? My dad was actually pretty okay when I came out as bi, but I lost several friends and other relatives. It made me feel pretty relieved to know that Soph wasn’t going to be the first one in her family, that she knew she had you two to count on.”
Eddie shifted guiltily, but Buck once again had his back. “I’m bi, too. I feel like I was actually pretty lucky because there were some openly gay men living in our neighborhood so I never felt like I really needed to hide it. My sister was a lot older, so when I mentioned it to her when I was like 14, she pretty much just said she already knew.”
The three of them rejoined the larger group conversations for a few more minutes before making their way inside to sit down. Eddie maneuvered Buck to the outside end of a pew where they were relatively alone for a moment. “Thanks, Buck. I guess I didn’t think that anyone here would know about what happened with Soph. I uh, I never really had that talk with her about the misunderstanding? I didn’t know what to say to Mira.” Eddie ducked his head and looked up and Buck guiltily.
“Hey, that’s okay, I don’t mind. I guess I don’t really talk about it much, but I’m not like hiding it or anything. I know you’re straight, so I thought I’d just… handle that one?”
Eddie chewed on his lip and twisted his hands together. “That’s kind of the problem? That you know I’m straight? Because after trying it with Ana and Marisol, and it really just was no good, I’ve been thinking that I might, maybe be… Not?”
Buck’s eyebrows shot up. “Not… straight?”
Eddie nodded and Buck started to say something, but then it was time for the ceremony to begin. As the music swelled and the mothers were seated, Buck reached over and grabbed Eddie’s hand.
***
The reception was loud and wild and full of traditions that Buck had never seen before. He also learned that Eddie was apparently a fantastic dancer when Mira pulled him out on to the floor under heavy protest. He could not tear his eyes away, and Eddie caught him and blushed the prettiest pink. They’d drank so, so much rum, and suddenly they were crammed in the corner with Mira, Davis, and Tabitha. Joey came too and there weren’t enough chairs. Everyone was too drunk to consider pulling over another, but after taking a look at how Tabitha was perched on Davis’ lap, Buck pulled Eddie over onto his own. Joey dropped into the now vacant seat and it seemed like no one at all noticed anything odd.
Eddie noticed, though. He noticed how warm Buck’s arm was where it wrapped around his waist, and how when Buck laughed at something Joey said, he could feel the vibrations through his whole body. Later on, they were at a table with some other people and there were plenty of chairs, but he didn’t even think about that as he dropped back down on Buck’s lap. Buck’s arm came around his waist and his hand settled onto his hip, like he was holding him in place. His other arm came across his lap and rested his drink on Eddie’s knee. The condensation made a wet ring on his nice suit pants.
Later again, people were leaving and it occurred to them that they absolutely should not drive. It turned out that Davis was staying at the hotel across the street from theirs and had had the foresight to not drive his own vehicle, so they threw him $10 to join his ride. They said their goodbyes and thank you’s to Keith and his new wife (though they were a bit too tipsy to recall her name and they’d probably feel bad about that tomorrow), and they found Mira and saw a few others on the way out. Davis had said he’d be waiting outside on the edge of the parking lot but Buck and Eddie didn’t see him at first. Thinking he was still inside saying goodbye, they leaned against the side of the building. There was a noisy truck driving by and once it passed, they became aware of some very… suggestive noises coming from around the corner. They glanced at each other and made an attempt to ignore the couple, but as drunk and giggly as they were, looking at each other was a mistake.
Eddie pressed his lips together and closed his eyes while Buck covered his mouth with his hand, but a muffled snort escaped and set Eddie off. Eddie shoved blindly at Buck, and Buck grabbed at him for support. They ended up with Eddie’s face pressed into Buck’s shoulder and Buck clinging to Eddie’s arm like a lifeline.
When the blue minivan with the Uber decal pulled up, they had mostly gotten themselves under control. Then from around the shadowed corner appeared Davis and Tabitha, flushed and tousled, and they dissolved into laughter again. Tabitha looked a little embarrassed., but Davis just grinned widely at them. “What can I say, guys? It’s like being in high school again.”
The Uber driver gave him the same exact look that Bobby had given Buck so many times.
Davis and Tabitha climbed all the way into the rear seat leaving the captains chairs in the center row for Buck and Eddie. It was nice because the taller men would’ve been cramped in the back, but unfortunately it also meant that they were able to continue their make-out session. The driver up front rolled his eyes and turned up the music, but Buck and Eddie were still being treated to what could’ve been a porn soundtrack.
And like… They’d been drinking, and it had been a while, okay? Buck bit his lip and shifted in his seat as the low, throaty moans continued. He stared out the window, but the oncoming headlights were illuminating the interior of the car in just the right way that he could pretty clearly see Eddie’s reflection, and Buck couldn’t help but look. Eddie was also fidgeting in his seat. Was he as affected as Buck was at the exhibition behind them? Eddie glanced over at Buck before reaching down and adjusting himself. Buck’s eyes followed the movement and could see the hard line in Eddie’s light grey pants. Buck was already half hard, probably some sort of Pavlov conditioning to the sounds he was trying to not listen to, but knowing that Eddie was also being affected was enough to bring him to full mast.
He shifted again and pulled his jacket over his lap in an attempt to hide the tenting.
They made it back to the hotels in only 10 minutes, but the electric atmosphere inside the van made it feel longer. He practically leapt out of the van with only a quick ‘Thanks’ towards the driver. They were at Davis’ hotel so they still had to cross the street, and Buck tried to act very normal about holding his jacket over his crotch as Eddie slipped his jacket off and covered his as well.
They kept acting completely normal about it while they waited for the light to change, and waited for the elevator, and while Buck pulled out the key card and let them into their room.
They were completely normal as the door shut behind them and Eddie flipped the security latch and Buck dropped all his things onto the table. Neither one of them addressed the way they were pointedly not looking at one another as they toed off their shoes, but not looking at one another meant that when Buck turned to go towards the bathroom and Eddie moved towards the table by the windows, they collided.
Neither was sure who moved first, but like magnets they crashed together as soon as they were within one another’s space. Buck’s fingers were sliding into Eddie’s hair and Eddie had hold of Buck’s belt loops and yanked him closer. Buck took two steps and pushed Eddie back to fall onto one of the beds, an Eddie used his new orientation to undo Buck’s pants before he was forced onto his back as Buck crawled on top of him.
Buck had a hand between them, pulling Eddie’s shirt up and out of his way. Eddie pushed at Buck’s pants and Buck raised onto his knees to help, but them stopped, and grabbed Eddie’s hand.
“You sure?” Buck’s eyes were bright and his cheeks were flushed. His lips were swollen and kiss-red and he was looking at Eddie like he was the absolute burning center of Buck’s universe.
What could Eddie possible have said but yes?
***
Buck woke up naked and alone, with a pounding headache and crippling guilt. What had he done? He was a terrible friend. He had hazy, alcohol-soaked memories of last night, but he definitely remembers being the one to push Eddie down on the bed and crawl on top of him. He remembers pulling Eddie onto his lap during the reception, and he remembers watching Eddie in a reflection in the car. And he remembers Eddie’s halting, interrupted, whispered confession in the church pew. Eddie had likely been feeling vulnerable and confused, had drank too much, and Buck, the absolute worst person on the planet, had taken advantage of that.
As Buck catastrophized, he dragged himself out of bed and started looking around for his phone. It was on the nightstand right beside him, which was surprising because he vaguely remembers just tossing it aside last night.
But no, it was here on the charger, next to a bottle of water and a packet of Tylenol that looked like it came from a vending machine. He ripped it open and swallowed it down, hoping that dialing back the headache would bring a little clarity. Underneath of it all was a note written on the hotel stationary.
Buck-
I’m going to pick Chris up. I paid for late
check-out so you don’t have to rush.
Be back soon, we’ll leave after lunch.
It was 11 am right now, regular checkout time. Buck looked around the room. Eddie’s stuff was still here so he was definitely coming back, but maybe it would be better if Buck just… went? Eddie was such a good friend, even though he obviously needed some distance, he still took the time to leave the water and Tylenol because he knew that Buck would need it. Eddie probably needed it too, but of course Buck couldn’t manage to get it together for him, he’d had to go get it himself.
Buck showered and took inventory of his body. There were some light scratch marks on his hips and some fingerprint bruises on his thighs and biceps. His hair had been gelled before the wedding last night and a glance in the mirror showed distinct signs that fingers had gripped it and yanked. He had a hickey on his neck and collarbone. He looked like Buck 1.0 all over again. There was no recognizable ache and he didn’t see any condoms, so he was pretty sure they at least hadn’t done that.
Gathering his things up and jamming them into his bag only made him feel worse. His clothes from the wedding were draped over the back of the desk chair and he knew damn well he hadn’t done that himself. Eddie’s clothes were folded on top of the dresser and Buck could see without picking up the shirt on top that it was missing buttons.
The guilt that had dropped to a low simmer suddenly boiled over.
He grabbed his phone and ordered an Uber to the airport before packed Eddie’s things with as much care as he could and leaving a brief note. He left his key card on the table next to it, and left.
***
Getting Chris back from his parents house was an exercise in patience.
They were no less upset about Sophia’s announcement than they had been before, and now Eddie understood that they’d also been mad about Buck’s presence because they thought that was Eddie making his own quietly unsubtle announcement. Which, maybe in a way it was, but Eddie hadn’t meant it like that. He had still been questioning things and hadn’t been prepared to make any sort of declarations one way or another, but after last night, well… Being with Marisol and Ana and even Shannon had never been like that, so easy and fun and not like trying to follow a script. So he was going to go ahead and take the opportunity to set them straight, so to speak, since they were already mad and Chris had already completed his summer visit.
But he didn’t have to expose Buck to them again, so he made sure to get up early and leave Buck to sleep off some of his hangover while Eddie suffered his parents alone.
Chris and Abuela had been happy to see him. He’d somewhat repaired his relationship with his father after the events of the retirement party, so he gave him a brief hug as well. His mother greeted him coolly and her hug felt chilly even in the Texas heat. If they hadn’t been standing with Abuela and Chris, he felt like she wouldn’t have.
The small talk and catching up was stilted and awkward. They could really only talk about Chris and the fun things they’d done during his visit. Eventually though, Eddie had had enough.
“Ready to go Chris? I left Buck sleeping at the hotel.”
“Buck’s here too?” Chris’s face lit up. He eagerly stood and slipped on his backpack while Eddie grabbed the suitcase.
“He sure is. Wanna take him to that quesadilla place before we go home?”
“Por supuesto que has traído a ese hombre aquí otra vez. Desagradable. (Of course you've brought that man here again. Disgusting.)”
“Mom, you know perfectly well that Chris can understand you and I will not allow you to speak like that about Buck, especially not in front of him.” Eddie gestured towards Chris, who was looking at his grandma with confusion.
“Why don’t you like Buck, grandma?”
“Hijo, grandma just wants you to be spending your time with us, with your family! We don’t know about these people you see in LA. and we want to make sure you don’t have any bad influences in your life.” It was an attempt to placate Chris, but Eddie was privately thrilled. It was the exact wrong thing to say.
“Buck is my family,” Chris yelled angrily. “He takes care of me and helps me and stuff. He could never be a bad influence, he’s like the best person ever. He saves people and plants gardens for people who don’t have food and takes shelter dogs for walks and makes cupcakes for the bake sale at school.”
“That’s right. Buck is part of our family. And we’re going to go pick him up and go home to the rest of our family in LA.”
“You need to stay here, is what you need. You’re being influenced as well out there in California, just like Sophia was when she went to Austin for college. Now look at her!”
“Yes, being influenced exactly like Sophia. Influenced to finally realize that I’ve been hiding parts of myself for my whole life, but now I know I don’t have to. I can just be free to be who I am instead of who you’re trying to force me to be.”
“¿Qué se supone que significa eso? (What is that supposed to mean?)” His mother reared back and crossed her arms.
“It means that I’m gay. I’ve been trying to force myself to date women because I knew that’s what you wanted, but I’ve realized that I don’t have to. I can just be me and be happy.”
“Edmundo!” His father finally spoke up. “Apologize to your mother for these lies. You are not gay! You have a child, you were married! You’re just trying to upset her, you and Sophia both.”
“It’s not a lie, Papa. It’s the truth, and it’s true for Sophia as well. I know I was married, that doesn’t mean it’s not still true. I didn’t know it yet back then, and I absolutely do not regret it because having been with Shannon brought me Chris,” he turned to look at his son. “And Chris is the best and brightest part of my whole world. I’m sorry to have had this conversation with your grandparents in front of you, Mijo, I meant to do it in private.”
“It’s okay, Dad.” Chris accepted the hug Eddie offered pressed his face to his dad’s chest. “I love you and I’m glad you told the truth, even if it was hard.”
Oh my god, this kid! Eddie wrapped him up tight and pressed a kiss into his hair. That was something that they’d talked about before, telling the truth even when it was hard. Eddie was never sure he was doing the right things, teaching Chris the right things, but every so often the kid will say something that makes Eddie feel so elated and relieved and just overwhelmingly proud. And of course, it was exactly what he needed to hear after coming out for the first time ever.
He felt soft arms come around him from the side as Abuela stepped forward and hugged him as well. “Oh, nieto, I love you and I’m so proud of you.”
Eddie wasn’t able to stop the tears that dropped into Chris’s hair.
“No son of mine is gay! I will not stand for this!” Ramon shouted, holding his sobbing wife. “We will take you to the church and you can confess your sins and repent.”
“No, Papa. I will not go to confession, this is not a sin. If you believe in God, you have to believe that this is the way He made me to be.”
“No, I will not have it! I will not have this depravación in my home! You are not my son.”
“Ramon,” Abuela tried to cut in as Helena wailed out an unintelligible prayer and crossed herself.
“No, Abuela, it’s okay. I’ll go. He can think what he wants.” Eddie bent to lift a tearful Chris into his arms. He was a little old to be carried, but he didn’t protest and instead wrapped his arms around his dad’s neck.
“If you go back to that man, you are no longer welcome in this home!” Helena cried out.
Eddie looked at her sadly, tucked Chris’s crutches under his arm, and left.
***
The drive back to the hotel was tense.
Chris was old enough to understand the gist of what had happened, but young enough that he didn’t really understand why or that it had been a long time building. He was quiet and looked worried, and Eddie tried to reassure him and apologize to him, but in true Chris fashion it seemed he was really just worried about Eddie.
“I’m sorry that Abuelo said that to you, and what Grandma said, too. I thought they loved you like you love me. When I do things you don’t like, you never make me feel like you don’t love me. And I’ll always love you even when you do things I don’t like you to do, like date my teacher.”
That drew Eddie up short. “You didn’t like it when I dated Ana? I thought you liked her.”
“I did like her, as a teacher. I didn’t like her telling me what to do at home, and she wouldn’t let me put chocolate chips in the pancakes like Buck does.”
Eddie thought about Buck.
Last night was fun, what he remembered of it. He was a little unsure how they transitioned from drunk friends laughing at some other drunken friends ill-advised hookup to being on the bed together, drunkenly hooking up themselves, but he had definitely gotten some much-needed clarity. He wasn’t sure exactly where things were going to stand with his best friend now, but surely their relationship was strong enough to be able to talk it over and work it out.
He didn’t think he would regret it, until they got back to the hotel and found the room empty and he read Buck’s note.
I’m so sorry, Eddie.
I didn’t mean to take advantage. I thought
I was past this 1.0 stuff.
I understand if you never want to see me
again.
I’ll see you back at work
unless you want me to switch shifts.
I’m sorry
The note was a little disjointed and Eddie could tell just by the handwriting that Buck was upset.
His heart cracked.
He tried to call Buck immediately, but his phone went straight to voicemail.
Eddie looked at Chris, who was looking at him for an explanation, but he had no idea what to say.
***
“Hello?”
“Maddie, it’s Eddie.” Eddie had hustled Chris back to the truck after grabbing his things and checking out in such a rush that he didn’t even check the hotel room for things that Buck might’ve missed when he packed up. Because Buck had of course taken the time to carefully pack Eddie’s things that he’d left strewn about. Buck was always there to pick up the pieces Eddie dropped, and that made it hurt even worse that Eddie couldn’t find him now.
He’d driven Chris to get the promised quesadillas, but instead of eating them together, Eddie had parked Chris on a park bench and walked out of hearing range to start calling around. Buck had turned his phone off because all calls were going to voicemail and checking the location had only shown that Buck had turned it off right outside the hotel.
So he called the one person who he knew Buck always ran to in a crisis besides himself.
“I’m not sure where Buck is, he’s not answering his phone. He was gone when I got back to the hotel and I-”
“Eddie, he’s okay. Take a breath.”
“You’ve talked to him?” Eddie was relieved but also hit with a sense of doom. What had Buck told her? Was she going to be mad at him too? Eddie never thought he’d be afraid of Maddie, but here he was.
“Yes, he called me before he got on the plane.”
“Plane? What plane? He was supposed to be driving back with me.”
“I know. And he didn’t tell me what your argument or whatever fight you might be having was about, so I don’t know why he ran away, but Eddie… He was really upset. You need to come home and talk to him, figure this out. You’re his best friend and he’s never had one of those before. You mean the world to him.”
“He does to me, too.” Eddie closed his eyes and took a breath, trying to keep his voice from wavering. “I hate that he ran off but I’m glad he called you.”
“Well, that seems to be the Buckley way,” Maddie said self-deprecatingly. “He’s asked me to pick him up at the airport. His flight gets in at 3. Maybe try calling him after?”
“Thanks Maddie.” They hung up and he went back to Chris.
The drive home seemed to take twice as long as it ever had.
Buck continued to decline Eddie’s calls the whole way.
***
The next few days at work were a nightmare.
It was like the entire city had conspired to send them on the most ridiculous, time-wasting, irritating calls it could manage to come up with. Fights, frequent fliers, false alarms, sewer backups, people refusing transport after calling. And all of it had to be done without Buck by side, because the other man had gone to Bobby before Eddie had even made it back to California to have himself switched to C shift. He’d not told them why, just said they needed a little time apart, and left Eddie to bear the brunt of A shifts inquisition.
And he didn’t even really know what to say. Obviously Buck was uncomfortable with what happened between them, so he must not want their fire family to know, but that left Eddie with no way to explain the distance. All he could say was that it was between him and Buck, he wasn’t going to talk about it with them, and they’d figure it out on their own.
He sent Buck several messages, trying to put into words how sorry he was but at this point he thinks Buck have have actually blocked him because his messages were never even read. Eddie couldn’t remember Buck ever having been so mad at someone, even when he had his fight with Chim about Maddie, or with Bobby before he called the lawyers. Not even then did he block anyone’s numbers.
For the first time, Eddie imagined that he may have actually irreparably broken his relationship with Buck. He must’ve made him feel bad about himself, Eddie reasoned. Buck put a lot of stock in this whole 1.0, 2.0, 3.0 thing that he used to explain the way he’d changed as he grew up, and a large part of leaving that 1.0 version behind was not sleeping around anymore. But Eddie had found out that Buck was bi, and told Buck that he was questioning his own sexuality. They’d always had a very tactile relationship, it had increased with the amount of alcohol they imbibed, and then later, when Eddie had let the sounds of someone else’s hook-up affect him, did he take the opportunity to test out his newfound attraction to men with the one person who had never told him no?
Did he use Buck like that? Is that why Buck ran as far away from him as quickly as he could?
Eddie felt like he was going to throw up.
He was hosing off the truck after the previous call had ended in projectile vomiting and when Hen approached him he honestly could not say how long he’d been standing there staring into space with the running water hitting the same spot on the truck tire.
“Eddie?”
He startled and water hit the mudflap and Hen had to jump back before the splash-back hit her feet.
“Oh, Hen, I’m sorry!”
“No harm, no foul,” She held her hands up as she indicated she was still dry. “I was just wondering if you were planning to actually wash the paint off the truck or if you were going to give up soon.”
Eddie looked around. Everyone else had gone upstairs, long finished with their own cleanup jobs. He shut off the spray nozzle.
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about Buck yet?”
Eddie did want to talk, desperately, but he still didn’t know what the story was supposed to be. But… He rolled his lips together. This was Hen, she would keep this to herself, what he told her wouldn’t hit the gossip mill. He sat down on the ambulance bumper and looked up at her. “I slept with Buck.”
Hen’s eyebrows nearly hit her hairline and Eddie could see the whites all the way around. “Okay. Okay. I’m not sure what I was expecting you to have fought about, but safe to say it wasn’t that.”
“I doubt anyone expected that.”
“Well, I wouldn’t go that far,” she mumbled quietly. “I just meant that I always kind of thought that you guys had such a strong relationship, if you ever went there, that it would be a good thing.”
“That’s kind of exactly the problem. We’d been drinking and it just kind of happened and I swear I didn’t mean to, but I think I might’ve taken advantage of him.”
Hen’s eyebrows drew together and she frowned slightly. “What do you mean?”
Eddie hesitated and toed at a dark spot on the concrete floor. “You know he never wants to disappoint anyone? Never wants to say no?” Hen nodded. “And how Chim always joked about how Buck 1.0 would sleep with anything with a pulse?” Hen nodded again, waiting to see where Eddie was going with this. “I told him that I was uhmm… Questioning things? And then later at the reception we got pretty drunk and there was another couple there that was…” Eddie trailed off. “But then we took an Uber back to our hotel and I don’t really remember talking about it at all, just… It was just happening? And I’m afraid that maybe he didn’t want to reject me and just went along with it? He obviously regrets it because he ran away the minute he woke up.”
Eddie ducked his head as tears filled his eyes.
“Oh, honey.” Hen wrapped him in a hug as he frantically wiped at his cheeks. “I’m so sorry that things went so sideways. And I’m so proud of you for trying to figure yourself out. I wish I could help you better, but I think you really just need to talk it over in private with Buck.”
“I know,” Eddie said forlornly. “But he blocked my number.”
If Hen had been surprised before, she was genuinely shocked now. “That doesn’t sound like Buck at all.”
“He did, though. My calls go straight to voicemail and my messages are never read. I only knew he made it home okay from Texas because I called Maddie on Sunday.”
Hen shifted a bit to get more comfortable on the bumper and grabbed Eddie’s hand. “I’ll talk to him. I won’t be a go-between, but I feel like you’re both missing some context and jumping to conclusions, but before I do, I need to know- Do you regret it?”
“No.” Eddie didn’t even hesitate. “Only that it’s caused all this mess now. I’d undo it if I could because I feel like I’ve lost my friend. But until he left, I thought it was good and we’d talk about it later. I had to go pick Chris up first thing in the morning, and things with my parents are really bad right now. I left Buck to sleep, and when I got back he was gone, and he’d left a note saying he was sorry? I’m not sure what he’s sorry for. He didn’t do anything wrong.”
“That boy feels guilty for breathing if he thinks someone else might need oxygen, too, you know that.” Eddie nodded. Buck’s parents had really done a number on him. “So if guilt is why he’s avoiding you, then you just need to reassure him that you’re not mad or upset or feeling bad in any way. He’ll come around. He loves you too much not to.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I’m always right.”
Eddie snorted, remembering several times when she’d been wrong, but not pointing it out.
“So, except for the Buck of it all, how’s your experimenting go?” Eddie turned red. “Without any details at all, please,” Hen continued. “As a certified lesbian, I don’t want to know anything at all about guy stuff.”
“Then I will only say that it went so well that I told my parents I was gay before I left Texas.”
“Oh? And how did that go?”
“It went about as well as you’d expect. They disowned me.”
“Oh, honey.” Hen hugged him again, and he let his head drop on her shoulder. Bobby found them like that ten minutes later, and Eddie decided to double-down on coming out. He had already survived the argument with his parents. After that, everyone else would be easy.
***
Michael and David’s wedding day started off with a rain shower and C shift had been busy with several car accidents, so between that and Hen’s own shifts, she did not get a chance to talk to Buck beforehand. She thought she’d stop at Eddie’s to reassure him, only to find him in a total panic.
He let her into the house when she knocked, but he was on the phone speaking in rapid-fire Spanish as he paced around the dining room. Hen wandered through the living room where she spied Christopher, calmly coloring in what looked like an adult coloring book. One of those ones with really intricate detailing. She turned her head sideways to get a better look.
“It’s a peacock,” he informed her. “It’s kind of hard to tell when it’s not finished.”
“Oh, okay.” She still couldn’t make it out, but she trusted the boy. “Your dad okay? He seems upset.”
“He’s fine, he’s having a gay panic.”
His nonchalant voice startled a bark of laughter out of Hen. “Oh, he is? Is that what that looks like?”
“I might be misusing the term.” Chris shot her a sly smile. His glittering eyes told her that he was using the term for purposeful shock value and her worry about the situation lessened. Chris was a sassy preteen, sure, but he wouldn’t be making jokes if someone was hurt or anything. “Auntie Adri called to tell him that she was canceling her wedding. It’s supposed to be in two weeks.”
“Oh no! Why is she canceling?”
“Because dad’s gay and Tia Sophia is a lesbian.”
Hen choked and Eddie stuck his head in the room. “You good?” Hen waved him off and he went back to his call.
“Grandma and Abuelo are homophobic and they disowned dad and Tia Sophia. He thinks I don’t follow the conversation as much if he does it all in Spanish,” Chris explained nonchalantly. Hen had already known some of this, so she was able to school her face. “I’m missing a little context because I can only hear Dad’s side of the conversation, even with the TV off.” Hen glanced over to find an anime playing away while muted. “But it sounds like Auntie Adri canceled her wedding because she’s going to elope instead. She wants dad and Tia Sophia to be there with her and Grandma and Abuelo can’t be trusted to act nice.” Chris dropped the green crayon he was using back on the table and selected a dark blue. “Dad said she doesn’t have to ruin her relationship with the family just because he did. I don’t know what she said back, but it made Dad cry a little bit and then he walked further away and said something about Buck.”
Chris finished with the dark blue patch and when he moved to switch crayons again, Hen could finally make out the head and neck of the peacock.
“Then Grandma called and he yelled at her for a few minutes in the bedroom. Then Abuela called and now he’s on the phone with Tia Sophia and they talked about Buck again.”
Hen thanked Chris for the play by play. “You should really just try to learn some Spanish. Try Hulu, they have a bunch of stuff. That’s what we do. Buck or Dad usually watch some drug crime thing but I’m not allowed.”
“Buck speaks Spanish?” Hen was surprised.
Chris stopped coloring to look at her, surprised that she was surprised. “Yeah? He always has.”
Huh. She’d never noticed that. Eddie was always the one who stepped in to speak Spanish when it was needed on calls, and before he joined they had Osoria. He did leave shortly before Eddie arrived though, so maybe Buck just let someone who spoke it more fluently take the lead?
Eddie came into the room hanging up the phone, but before he could do more than apologize for being on the phone, it rang again. He groaned loudly.
“Eddie, it’s fine. I just wanted to tell you I hadn’t had a chance to catch up with Buck yet. I’ll let you get back to your current wedding drama and I’ll see you at the wedding tonight.”
Eddie nodded and answered the phone. “Hola Pepa.”
Chris waved her a long-suffering goodbye.
***
Michael and David were getting married at the Ebell. Buck arrived late to the ceremony, just in time to slip in to a space in the back of the seating area and he looked around in awe. The place was beautiful, just the kind of space that Buck imagined an architect would romanticize. He’d been to a bunch of weddings this year and this one was definitely the fanciest though he did think the ranch in Montana with it’s beautiful mountain backdrop was a little more his speed.
A change in the music indicated the beginning of the ceremony and the officiant came in from the side. His entrance drew Buck’s eye across the courtyard and he caught sight of Hen and Karen, sitting beside Bobby and Athena. It was hard to see clearly from back here, but it looked like Denny was there, too. He tried to focus back on the front, but just like he couldn’t fight gravity, Buck couldn’t fight the compulsion to look at Eddie any longer.
It wasn’t a conscious thing, it was just something that he was always just aware of. Eddie’s location in relation to his own. Whether they were on a call or at home or walking through the grocery store, Buck knew where to look to catch Eddie’s eye or in which direction to reach out for a needed tool or to drop something in the cart without looking. It was part of what made them such a flawless team at work, being able to anticipate the others unspoken needs. It was partly forged from simple familiarity, but it went much deeper. Hen and Chim had been best friends and work partners for much longer than Buck and Eddie had known each other, and they were a fantastic team, but they had not reached the same level of innate knowledge of the other person that Buck and Eddie seemed to have right away.
So Buck knew, without having to dance his eyes across the crowd, that Eddie was sitting two rows behind Athena, with his arm around Chris.
He also knew that Maddie and Chimney would be nearby, but he didn’t see them and didn’t have the same core-deep relationship even with her to know where she was without looking. Plus, they were both short and harder to see in the crowd.
The ceremony was nice, even if it was hard to hear from way back here.
Buck knew he’d been seated at a table with his 118 family, but he also knew that the kids had been given their own table in the back and once he’d seen Chris sitting alone there with Denny, he grabbed a seat there instead of beside Eddie where he was supposed to be. If Chris was surprised, he didn’t show it.
“Hey, Superman. Whatcha doin?” The boys had their heads together over a tablet that belonged to Denny.
“Roblox,” Chris answered. “We’re customizing Denny’s avatar, then we’re gonna join a game together when Harry gets done having his picture taken.”
Buck had only a vague idea what that meant, but the boys seemed happy about it. A little later, Harry and May joined the table. There was already a case on the table that turned out to contain Harry’s tablet. Chris pulled out his phone. May pulled hers out as well, but Buck assumed she was not joining the boys game.
Chris eyed him, then slid his chair away from Denny and towards Buck. “Here, Buck, you can play with me,” he said magnanimously. “I mean, there’s not really anything for two people to do, but it would take too long to set you up with your own account and teach you how to use it. We’re gonna play Stalker.”
“No! I want to play Adopt Me,” Denny said.
“We played that last time. I want to do Restaurant Tycoon.”
“You always want Restaurant Tycoon.”
“That’s cause it’s the best one.”
“We haven’t played Stalker in days though. Playing it by myself isn’t as much fun.”
“How about we do Natural Disaster Survival instead?” The younger boys seemed to like Harry’s suggestion, because they immediately agreed. A few minutes later, Christopher was narrating what he was doing to Buck as he made his little avatar climb around inside a blocky skyscraper, then a tornado came.
All the boys groaned as their little people were flung out.
Then Michael and David came in to the DJ’s announcements and after a quick speech, it was time to eat. The boys parents came to check on them when the waiters brought out their plates, and Buck made himself scarce as Eddie and Hen both tried to talk to him. He wasn’t ready to face Eddie telling him how he’d hurt him or Hen chastising him for going back to his old ways. He knew Eddie had told her what had happened because she’d left him a message that she needed to talk to him about it, so he was sure she was upset with him as well. It was only a matter of time before Chimney and Bobby found out, and then they’d of course tell Maddie and Athena.
The disappointment from both of his mother-figures would crush him, he knew.
He should probably just leave, and maybe start thinking about transferring to a different house. He didn’t so much mind working with the C shift, they weren’t bad people and Mikkens was fun, but it was hard being at the 118 without being with his own family. There’s no way he could handle being there when they were all mad at him again.
Buck felt a bit sick and after swinging by Michael and David’s table to offer congratulations, he left.
***
Eddie sat alone at a table full of his friends and watched them all with their significant others. Hen and Karen had selected different meals from the menu and were splitting the portions in half. Bobby and Athena had also selected different items and weren’t splitting them, but had tasted everything on one another’s plates. Maddie and Chim had both chosen the same thing and were taking turns feeding bites to Jee, who was sitting on Chim’s lap since she was too young to be at the kids’ table. And Eddie, well, the chair beside him was empty because the man who was supposed to be his date had chosen to sit at the kids table to avoid him.
Eddie ate his dinner without tasting it.
Maybe he just couldn’t fix this?
He stopped trying to call Buck.
***
A month went by with everyone pointedly Not Talking About Buck’s absence at work. They were still seeing him outside of work sometimes, Chim regularly. Eddie tried not to let that hurt as much as it did. He hadn’t realized quite how much of his daily life had been shaped around Buck until now. Even things like doing an oil change were affected, because he always did his truck and Buck’s Jeep at the same time. He went into the auto parts store and automatically bought both oil filters and enough oil. He was all the way to the point of taking his truck down from the jacks before he realized he was finished instead of only halfway done.
Now it was like every day was empty.
Even his time spent with Chris had lessened a bit, with the boy going into his room to take facetime calls with Buck to work on fun science and English assignments with. He only ever asked Eddie for help with math and to sign his logbook. They still watched movies and had dinner together of course, but it had pretty quickly turned into frozen dinners and takeout now that both Abuela and Buck were no longer cooking for them.
Eddie asked Bobby to teach him a few simple things, but even Bobby’s dedicated tutoring had only been able to give him a few simple meals made from pre-packaged ingredients. Bobby assured him they’d keep working on it, but Eddie thought he could tell that Eddie’s heart wasn’t in it. Bobby had tried to breach the subject of Buck, but Eddie had firmly shut him down. “I’ll talk to you about Buck when Buck wants to talk to me again.”
Eddie had bowed out of both Grant-Nash dinners that had taken place since the wedding so Buck could comfortably attend. After he declined the first time, Hen and Karen had started inviting him over for weekly dinners on one of their off days. He suspected Hen had given Karen the basic rundown of what had happened once it was clear that Eddie was comfortable with Karen knowing he was gay, because she also took care to not bring Buck up.
Having gotten used to everyone tiptoeing around the subject, he was scrambling for words when Adriana flat out asked him what the fuck was going on.
“He hasn’t posted anything with you or Chris on Insta in over a month, and you’re not tagged in pictures he was tagged in that you’re also in. Did you guys break up?”
“We were never together Adri, we talked about this.”
“Whatever, Eddie. You can lie to yourself if you want to, but I know love when I see it.”
“Buck doesn’t love me, I don’t think he even likes me anymore.”
“But you don’t deny that you love him?”
“Adri…” Eddie trailed off, not able to force out the lie. “Just shut the fuck up.”
“I’m inviting him to dinner.”
“Don’t do that, please just leave it alone. Leave him alone? He really wants some distance right now. He’s switched shifts at work and everything.”
“Jesus, Ed, what did you do?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“That bad?”
“It was… I didn’t think so at the time, but in hindsight, yes, it was a bad idea.”
“Did you try apologizing?”
“Yes! He won’t take my calls or open my texts and won’t work with me.”
“Did you cheat on him?”
“Dios, Adri, no! I haven’t been with anyone else since Marisol.” He caught what he said a second too late to stop it coming out of his mouth.
“With anyone ELSE? So you guys WERE together!”
Eddie dropped into a chair and banged his head on the table.
“I’m not going to let this go, Edmundo. You can either confess over the phone, or I’ll come to your house and bully it out of you when I get into town.” Adriana had held firm during the arguments with her parents about canceling the wedding and had instead simply gone to the courthouse with her new husband's family. The airline wouldn’t let her cancel her tickets, but they did allow her to make changes. Now instead of flying to Hawaii, she’d canceled her hotel down there and booked a cruise instead. A 10-day Alaskan cruise. Eddie wasn’t sure that Alaska would’ve been his chosen cruise ship destination, but she swore that her friends raved about it. Also, it left from LA and apparently no longer paying for a massive wedding and a week's honeymoon suite was more than enough to cover the costs of a last-minute cruise stateroom.
Eddie weighed out the risks. He could just hang up, but he knew she would definitely show up at his door at some point. She was arriving in LA the day prior to the cruise departure, so she’d have plenty of time. And if she showed up in person, he’d have to actually look at her when he talked about his sex life, which he absolutely did not want to do.
“I got him drunk and took him to bed. When he sobered up, he ran away.”
“Damn, are you that bad?”
Eddie groaned and banged his head again. “Oh my fucking god, Adriana, why do I even talk to you?”
“Because I’m so much smarter than you and you constantly need my help?”
“You’re not smart. Remember when you picked out a rhino and a hippo toy because you thought they were the boy and girl of the same species?”
“Fuck off Edmundo, I was 12.”
“Chris is 12 and he’s way smarter than that.”
“I’d never even seen one in person! Mom didn't take us to the zoo! And I’m not letting you derail this discussion.” Eddie’s good humor faded. He had been attempting to derail her and she did of course see right through him. “There has to be more to it than that. As much as I don’t understand his poor taste in men, the Buck I met in Texas loved you. I’m sure of it. There has to be more to it.”
“Buck, he… Okay, I do not at all mean this in a bad way, okay? He used to sleep around, like a lot. And he didn’t always choose people in the smartest way. He was lonely and would do anything he could to make people happy. And then he moved to LA. and started to make actual lasting friends and he really puts a lot of stock in feeling like he’s grown past that part of his life.”
Eddie paused before continuing. “And I think after having been drinking and hanging out with people who ended up hooking up, when I, you know, started things? I think he might have felt like he had to go along with it? And then that hurt him because he should’ve been able to trust me not to treat him like that.”
Adriana cut in. “No. No way, nuh-uh. Whatever happened exactly, I do not believe for a minute that you pushed him into it because you just expected it from him. I’ve known you my entire life, Eddie, and you have never once to my knowledge acted so disrespectfully in that way. You were never the pushy guy, never the boy that chased the girls or whatever. Course I guess there’s the whole gay thing now that explains a lot about how you never really dated, but even so, that just seems so far away from what I know about you.”
“It has to be something like that, though. He left a note that said he was sorry about what happened and he’d change shifts at work and he literally bought a plane ticket and ran away from me. He was in the air before I got back and realized he was gone. Thirteen hours away from home and I had to call his sister to find out he was even somewhere safe.”
“His note said exactly that? And where were you at when he was leaving?”
“I don’t know! I don’t remember exactly what it said, just that he said sorry a bunch. The writing was all shaky, I could tell he was upset. I went to get Chris from mom and dad. I knew he’d have a hangover, so I left him at the hotel to sleep it off and so he wouldn’t have to hear whatever mom was going to say.”
“So you guys slept together for the first time and he woke up in a hotel room all alone? No wonder he was upset!”
“I left him a note! I told him where I was, I got him all set up with water and Tylenol, put his phone on the charger where he could see it. It wasn’t like I ran out!” Eddie leapt out of the chair and paced the room.
“What did your note say? Was it really really clear?”
“Super clear. I said where I went and that he didn’t have to hurry because I paid the up-charge for late checkout and that we’d go home when I got back.”
Adriana made a disgusted noise. “You are the stupid sibling.”
“What the hell?”
“Did you say anything at all about having a nice night? What a good time it was? That you can’t wait to see him again? That you love him?”
“What? No? I never say that kind of stuff, and I wouldn’t say that I loved him for the first time in a note.”
“I bet you literally just wrote two sentences. No wonder he was upset! He thought YOU regretted it and were running away!”
“No, that’s not what I was doing at all.” The pitch of his voice raised before it thickened. “I was trying to give him a nice morning, spare him from mom! Chris and I were gonna take him to lunch.”
Adriana’s voice softened. “Eddie, you have to talk to him. I saw the way he looked at you, the way you looked at each other. Maybe it wasn’t official, but you guys were together. And I think you have been for awhile. I know you didn’t mean to, but I think you might’ve broken his heart.”
The alarm on Eddie’s phone went off. It was time to pick Chris up from school.
“I have to go Adri. I’ll double check my shift, we can get dinner or lunch while you're in town.”
***
Four days later, the day Adri and Tony were due to arrive, Bobby called Eddie into his office. “What’s up, Cap?”
“Have a seat.”
Eddie slowly lowered himself into the chair across the desk from his Captain. He wracked his brain to think of something he might’ve done wrong, but nothing came to mind. Except Buck, of course. He’d done everything wrong with Buck. But he didn’t think Bobby was going to formally call him in to talk about it, unless… Unless Buck had put in for a transfer or Bobby was going to transfer Eddie to get Buck back on A-shift where he belonged.
“I know that you’ve used up almost all your vacation days for the year already,” Bobby started off.
Eddie was confused, and his face reflected that, but Bobby waved his hand for him to just wait.
“And I know you weren’t planning on using the rest right now since your sister canceled her wedding, but we’ve all discussed it and we think it’s really important for you to take this opportunity.”
“What opportunity?”
Bobby continued as if Eddie hadn’t even spoken. “We have it all worked out. Chris will spend the weekdays with Hen and Karen, then over the weekend both Denny and Chris will come to my house to have a sleepover with Harry. Carla is going to drive Chris to and from school every day. She knows there is an hour difference between Chris getting out of school and Karen getting home from work, so she’s going to take Chris to your house and grab the mail and such. That way if he forgets to pack anything, he’ll have plenty of time to get it, and you don’t need to worry about the house.”
“What is going on?”
“You’ll finish your shift today, that’ll give you plenty of time to pack before your departure tomorrow. We’ve all donated a few vacation days so you won’t be missing out on any pay either. And we won’t be taking no for an answer.” Bobby stared him down as Eddie tried to make sense of what was happening.
“What am I not saying no to, Bobby?”
“I had a long conversation with your sister a couple days ago. You’re leaving tomorrow afternoon for an Alaskan cruise.”
***
When Eddie got home, Adriana was already in his house, packing his things. Chris was excitedly packing his things for his week with Denny. Tony was in his kitchen, cooking anything that would spoil in the next 10 days.
No one cared what Eddie’s opinion on any of this was.
Eventually, he sat down on his couch and read through the itinerary and recommended packing list that Adriana had laid out for him. He dutifully went out to purchase cash and travel size toiletries, and to pick up the online order Adriana had placed at a sporting goods store. It contained some cold weather and rain gear that Adri said she wasn’t sure Eddie would have on hand and she didn’t want to have to search around for it. Eddie thought it was a little overkill, but he’d accepted that he had lost all control over his life at this point.
And to top everything off, Tony’s dinner that had been thrown together from things that Eddie couldn’t make a decent meal with was fantastic. Chris had thirds.
Tony and Adri left for their hotel when it was time to put Chris to bed. Eddie had a long talk with him to make sure Chris was really okay with this unplanned vacation. Turns out, Eddie was literally the only person who had any reservations at all. Chris could not have been any more excited. “This will be so good for you both,” he’d said.
“You mean all three of us? Tony will be there too, not just me and Adri.”
Chris gave him a mischievous grin. “Yeah, all three of us.”
It didn’t sound quite like he meant the same thing that Eddie had meant, but Chris pulled off his glasses and said goodnight.
Eddie woke early to take Chris to breakfast before school. If it was their last time spent together in more than a week, he wasn’t going to spend it over shitty frozen waffles. He gave him extra hugs and kisses when he dropped him off and promised to take like a million pictures.
***
Adriana and Tony arrived at 2 to pick him up, and Adriana was smiling so widely it looked like it hurt.
“I cannot wait, Eddie! This is going to be the best trip ever. I spent so long on the phone, you’re going to thank me forever.”
“Yeah, yeah. If nothing else, I can catch up on some serious sleep.”
Adriana looked like she was going to explode. “I’m sure you won’t spend your whole trip in bed,” she finally said, pointedly looking away from him.
Before they went to the port, they had to drive back to the airport and return their rental car. The cruise line had a free shuttle bus than ran from the airport to the port, so they used that to reach the docks.
Eddie helped Adri and Tony find their bags, and Adri suggested hanging back for a bit and letting the large group they’d arrived with go on up ahead. “It’ll just be standing in line to check in only to stand around on board anyway,” she explained. “I talked to my friends about it, they said you’re not allowed to go down to your actual room until everyone gets checked in and the ship is ready to depart. So checking in early only means you have more time to buy drinks and stuff.”
That seemed reasonable to Eddie, so he found a bench outside of the large check-in building and spent a few minutes in the family group chat, thanking everyone for what they were doing for him this week. He also privately messaged Hen to ask her to try and talk to Buck again while he was gone. He’d spoken to her about his conversation with Adriana, and what Adriana thought had happened. Hen agreed with his sister’s assessment, and promised that she’d try.
He was so busy with that, that he didn’t pay any attention to the car that pulled up. Someone got out and took a bag from the backseat, then the car pulled away leaving just one person standing on the curb in front of the bench Eddie was sitting on.
“Eds, we’re going to go check ourselves in. You take your time.”
Eddie looked up at Adriana, but like a magnet his eyes were pulled to the man standing on the curb.
It was Buck.
Standing on the curb wearing blue jeans and a white t-shirt, biting his lip and tousled curls shining golden in the sun. Eddie’s heart stuttered.
Buck was holding a clipped together stack of papers with the cruise line logo on it and wearing a backpack. A suitcase was set beside him.
He looked nervous and Eddie ached to reassure him.
“Buck.”
“H-hey, Eds.”
“What are… Are you…?” Eddie wasn’t sure what to say, he couldn’t comprehend what was happening.
“Adriana called me a couple days ago. We- we talked some things through? And she explained that maybe there had been a really big misunderstanding.”
“Yes, oh my god, yes. You have to know I’m so sorry, I should’ve woken you up and talked to you before I left that morning.” Eddie stepped up to Buck and reached for his hand. “I wasn’t running away from you.”
“I think I understand that now,” Buck said softly. “And I’m sorry, too. I should’ve waited for you to get back instead of running away. I felt so badly thinking that I’d done something you didn’t want to do…”
“No, I wanted to, I wanted all of it. I wanted you. I … I have for so long.”
Buck took a step closer and smiled, eyes full of hope. “Do you… Do you want to start over? Take these 10 days to figure it out?”
“Yes, please. You’re coming on this cruise?” Eddie let his hand slide up Buck’s arm and rest on his shoulder. Buck’s freed hand went to the small of his back.
"Only if you want me to. I can just go back home and you can have this time to yourself."
Eddie shook his head. "I don't want any more time without you. But how are you here?"
“Adriana is very persuasive. We should talk about it in our room, but before we go check in… Can I kiss you?”
Instead of answering, Eddie leaned forward and captured Buck’s mouth.
Eddie’s phone rang, and he ignored it in favor of licking into Buck’s mouth, but then it rang immediately again. Buck pulled back. “You should probably get that,” he whispered.
Eddie pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the screen. It was Adriana. Eddie hadn’t even noticed that she and Tony had walked away. “What?”
“You can make out with your boyfriend on board, let’s go!”
Eddie grinned up at Buck and answered her. “Okay, me and my boyfriend will be right there.”
***
Six months later, they took their own honeymoon trip.